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- We feel much safer now.
Comment: Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug.
- doing the walk of shame back
Comment: in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments.
- The only reason I know his name
Comment: is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
- I probably bonked my head
Comment: or I did something stupid
- I feel pretty and witty and bright
- thoughtful if that is possible
- you are all traitors
- whoops my bad
Comment: Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
- you did what to who
Comment: for how many oreos???
- this is nice
- I got tossed from adult league soccer
Comment: for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Description: Colored by quickmartial
- They're Grrrrrrreat!
Comment: Frosted Flakes
- At some point
Comment: you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says