Zell? [Those last words sounded very alarming, and just at this moment any further bit of alarm threatens to be overwhelming.] You're not [static] anywhere. You are here. If any [static]re real, then this is real.
[ Beckett can't tell, and his name was on the obituaries not that long ago. So Beckett could be made up to cope with all of this. To make this night of shit so much better.
Jim keeps flicking out when they make contact every time the static starts to impair his vision again. But he's still holding on when Jim comes back.
Taking a shuddering breath. ]
A bit. [ He concedes quietly. ] I really hope I'm no[ Static Shock. ]ere anymore, Beckett. I want this [ Static ] real.
All of this? [He's disarmed in his surprise, voice small, as though the proposition frightens him. He doesn't want to think about wanting Norfinbury, because God knows, the other option...]
You [static]live in your world. You never [static] otherwise. Tell me I'm not wrong.
[And, damnit, there is his need to know - it surrenders to absolutely nothing, no fear, no confusion, and no certainty that he may be better off not knowing. He needs to know.]
You're [static]ming through. Zell, what happened to y[static]ere do you think you're dreaming this?
Time Compression. [ There is a burst of static as he tries to rein in his breathing. He's only told Jim and Zack about it, but it doesn't make it any easier. ]
Remember [ Static ] tablets were showing [ Static ]ly bad stuff? Really, really bad stuff? [ Static ]like that, but it's [ Static ]ual memories. It kept replaying [ Static ]ing could have gone wrong. I don't want [ Static. ] Jim reminds [ Static ]s is real, but now... [ He doesn't have that reminder. He can't latch on to Jim or even look at any of the proofs they did to remind him it's real. That he got out of time compression and he didn't imagine the party to try to make himself feel better. ]
[Time Compression does not have a good ring to it, even before Beckett knows what it's all about. And he recalls the incident Zell talks about with chilling clarity. Zell, trapped in that hell for who knows how long...
He thinks of Okulos. It makes him give a shiver that's almost audible in his breath.]
This isn't [static]eplay. It's not a memory. I [static] so, at least. Things have, in a sen[static] wrong.
I hope you should [static]ve me. [He's not sure. He's saying things because the alternative is too much. Maybe that makes them platitudes. Maybe there's only so much he can fight that.
It takes him a moment to realise Zell is talking about Angel and Rhys. He lets out a long breath.] I don't [static]pend on how long [static] lasts.
[ Believe? Involve? Have? When this is over he hopes that messages become clear like the event when everyone saw something different on the network. He knows it's different because this time it's bleeding over to physical form. Thankfully no one is vanishing before his eyes any more.
Just static. The horrible static remains.
He's slow to respond once more as he scoots closer to his guiding Stars. ]
You shou[ Short static. ] with them. Even with [ Static.] this shit. It helps. [ It helps being able to reassure yourself by touching. ]
It [ Longer static ] the nanomachines. Something could be inter[ Static ] their signal. [ Or something could be trying to hijack their signal. Which is freaky. It makes him think of Winter and the Admin cutting away a memory from everyone.
As freaky as it is, it eases the doubts. It's easier to point fingers at something like machines or people screwing with said machines inside of you than going back down to the other possibility. ]
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[Beckett is an old hand at fighting delusions... and it may not be really Zell he's trying to convince here.]
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[ He's sounding more sure of it as he talks. ]
It's doing it again. I don't want to be back there ag- [ Static ]
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This is real. This is [ Static. ] This isn't [ Static static. ] I'm here. Right? [ There is a note of desperation with that question. ]
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I don't [static]ich of us is real. But I can hear you. At lea[static] comforting kind of madness.
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Jim keeps flicking out when they make contact every time the static starts to impair his vision again. But he's still holding on when Jim comes back.
Taking a shuddering breath. ]
A bit. [ He concedes quietly. ] I really hope I'm no[ Static Shock. ]ere anymore, Beckett. I want this [ Static ] real.
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You [static]live in your world. You never [static] otherwise. Tell me I'm not wrong.
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[ He'll take Norfinbury over being possibly stuck in Time Compression any day. ]
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[And, damnit, there is his need to know - it surrenders to absolutely nothing, no fear, no confusion, and no certainty that he may be better off not knowing. He needs to know.]
You're [static]ming through. Zell, what happened to y[static]ere do you think you're dreaming this?
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Remember [ Static ] tablets were showing [ Static ]ly bad stuff? Really, really bad stuff? [ Static ]like that, but it's [ Static ]ual memories. It kept replaying [ Static ]ing could have gone wrong. I don't want [ Static. ] Jim reminds [ Static ]s is real, but now... [ He doesn't have that reminder. He can't latch on to Jim or even look at any of the proofs they did to remind him it's real. That he got out of time compression and he didn't imagine the party to try to make himself feel better. ]
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He thinks of Okulos. It makes him give a shiver that's almost audible in his breath.]
This isn't [static]eplay. It's not a memory. I [static] so, at least. Things have, in a sen[static] wrong.
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I believe you. [ He thinks. There is a long thing of static.] Really, really frick[ Static. ]ng. H-how long un[ static ] meet them?
[ He's pretty sure Beckett shouldn't be alone for long. ]
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It takes him a moment to realise Zell is talking about Angel and Rhys. He lets out a long breath.] I don't [static]pend on how long [static] lasts.
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Just static. The horrible static remains.
He's slow to respond once more as he scoots closer to his guiding Stars. ]
You shou[ Short static. ] with them. Even with [ Static.] this shit. It helps. [ It helps being able to reassure yourself by touching. ]
It [ Longer static ] the nanomachines. Something could be inter[ Static ] their signal. [ Or something could be trying to hijack their signal. Which is freaky. It makes him think of Winter and the Admin cutting away a memory from everyone.
As freaky as it is, it eases the doubts. It's easier to point fingers at something like machines or people screwing with said machines inside of you than going back down to the other possibility. ]