[Most of the message is stubborn, sharp static. Maybe there aren't words at all, just heavy breathing. When Beckett's voice comes through at last it's strained, almost cracking.]
[ The static has him closing stopping the message from playing and tossing his tablet away. He waits a couple of minutes, before retrieving his tablet. Taking a deep breath and hitting the button to play the rest of the message.
It’s Beckett and he’s alive!
Well, he might be alive. This place could be screwing with him. Everyone could be a lie and none of this is real.
It takes another couple minutes of arguing if he should believe it’s really Beckett again. That Beckett is alive.
Breathing in a deep, shuddering breath as he responds. ]
Yeah, I’m here. [ A pause. ] I think. Is it- Are you really back?
[Something's wrong. Something's very wrong. He's gotten so damned used to always hearing that insufferable, bold cheer in Zell's voice - that yo!, no matter what they were talking about, what was going mad about the world that particular week. It sends his thoughts spinning in a hundred new directions. How did he come to rely on that response? To rely on anything in the town?]
I - [his voice wavers, even before the static overtakes it for a while.] tablets malfunctioning for everyone? Is this static affe[static] might be just me. But it wasn't like this last time.
[ Static sucks. Static sucks big time, but he'll try to fight the doubts that are increasing. If Beckett is just this place messing with him... ]
Yeah. [ He's breathing in short little breaths, which mingles in with static. ] It's every- [ static ] and they flicker out of sight. It's a lot better from be[ static. ]
[It's like a vicious circle, Zell's audible fear feeding his own. Beckett's rational mind thinks he ought to resent that. But Beckett's rational mind is now crushed underfoot by panicked animal instincts.]
What w[static]efore? What's happening? Did the adm[static] anything?
[ It's really good they can't see each other. Zell is watching Jim's chest rise with every breath he takes as he tries to keep from flinching out the sounds he hears from the other end. ]
I don't know. [ Static as he breathes in. ] Everything su[ Static], man. We have to find the pro[static]nd save them. The frickin' [Fuzz] might be messing with our sight or we aren't really [more static]. Beckett, I don't [ long thing of static.]
[Zell already knows that. Waste of words. He can't panic over that, too. He has to slow down, slow down, he should know how to deal with the unreal, with this kind of outside influence... he used to know...]
You're with the others. [static]sel? Zack? Are you still together?
[A sharp intake of breath, and then a moment of tense silence, as Beckett grapples with the unbelievable stab of jealousy at the thought of Zell having someone there with him, solid, trusted, warm. Angel and Rhys are very far away. And even if they weren't...]
Of all delusions to have... [he mutters it to himself, acid and bitter.] There's a reason I work alone...
Zell? [Those last words sounded very alarming, and just at this moment any further bit of alarm threatens to be overwhelming.] You're not [static] anywhere. You are here. If any [static]re real, then this is real.
[ Beckett can't tell, and his name was on the obituaries not that long ago. So Beckett could be made up to cope with all of this. To make this night of shit so much better.
Jim keeps flicking out when they make contact every time the static starts to impair his vision again. But he's still holding on when Jim comes back.
Taking a shuddering breath. ]
A bit. [ He concedes quietly. ] I really hope I'm no[ Static Shock. ]ere anymore, Beckett. I want this [ Static ] real.
All of this? [He's disarmed in his surprise, voice small, as though the proposition frightens him. He doesn't want to think about wanting Norfinbury, because God knows, the other option...]
You [static]live in your world. You never [static] otherwise. Tell me I'm not wrong.
[And, damnit, there is his need to know - it surrenders to absolutely nothing, no fear, no confusion, and no certainty that he may be better off not knowing. He needs to know.]
You're [static]ming through. Zell, what happened to y[static]ere do you think you're dreaming this?
Time Compression. [ There is a burst of static as he tries to rein in his breathing. He's only told Jim and Zack about it, but it doesn't make it any easier. ]
Remember [ Static ] tablets were showing [ Static ]ly bad stuff? Really, really bad stuff? [ Static ]like that, but it's [ Static ]ual memories. It kept replaying [ Static ]ing could have gone wrong. I don't want [ Static. ] Jim reminds [ Static ]s is real, but now... [ He doesn't have that reminder. He can't latch on to Jim or even look at any of the proofs they did to remind him it's real. That he got out of time compression and he didn't imagine the party to try to make himself feel better. ]
[Time Compression does not have a good ring to it, even before Beckett knows what it's all about. And he recalls the incident Zell talks about with chilling clarity. Zell, trapped in that hell for who knows how long...
He thinks of Okulos. It makes him give a shiver that's almost audible in his breath.]
This isn't [static]eplay. It's not a memory. I [static] so, at least. Things have, in a sen[static] wrong.
I hope you should [static]ve me. [He's not sure. He's saying things because the alternative is too much. Maybe that makes them platitudes. Maybe there's only so much he can fight that.
It takes him a moment to realise Zell is talking about Angel and Rhys. He lets out a long breath.] I don't [static]pend on how long [static] lasts.
[ Believe? Involve? Have? When this is over he hopes that messages become clear like the event when everyone saw something different on the network. He knows it's different because this time it's bleeding over to physical form. Thankfully no one is vanishing before his eyes any more.
Just static. The horrible static remains.
He's slow to respond once more as he scoots closer to his guiding Stars. ]
You shou[ Short static. ] with them. Even with [ Static.] this shit. It helps. [ It helps being able to reassure yourself by touching. ]
It [ Longer static ] the nanomachines. Something could be inter[ Static ] their signal. [ Or something could be trying to hijack their signal. Which is freaky. It makes him think of Winter and the Admin cutting away a memory from everyone.
As freaky as it is, it eases the doubts. It's easier to point fingers at something like machines or people screwing with said machines inside of you than going back down to the other possibility. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@Mnemosyne; voice; night 160, ~3AM
- hear me? Are you there, Zell?
no subject
It’s Beckett and he’s alive!
Well, he might be alive. This place could be screwing with him. Everyone could be a lie and none of this is real.
It takes another couple minutes of arguing if he should believe it’s really Beckett again. That Beckett is alive.
Breathing in a deep, shuddering breath as he responds. ]
Yeah, I’m here. [ A pause. ] I think. Is it- Are you really back?
no subject
I - [his voice wavers, even before the static overtakes it for a while.] tablets malfunctioning for everyone? Is this static affe[static] might be just me. But it wasn't like this last time.
no subject
Yeah. [ He's breathing in short little breaths, which mingles in with static. ] It's every- [ static ] and they flicker out of sight. It's a lot better from be[ static. ]
no subject
What w[static]efore? What's happening? Did the adm[static] anything?
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I don't know. [ Static as he breathes in. ] Everything su[ Static], man. We have to find the pro[static]nd save them. The frickin' [Fuzz] might be messing with our sight or we aren't really [more static]. Beckett, I don't [ long thing of static.]
no subject
[Zell already knows that. Waste of words. He can't panic over that, too. He has to slow down, slow down, he should know how to deal with the unreal, with this kind of outside influence... he used to know...]
You're with the others. [static]sel? Zack? Are you still together?
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[ His breathing sounds shaky. ]
Where's Ange[ Statc ]Rhys? Were you [ Static all over. ]
[ Then he says something quietly that sounds like Stars.]
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Of all delusions to have... [he mutters it to himself, acid and bitter.] There's a reason I work alone...
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Delu[ Buzz ]. It's not fake, [ Fuzz fuzz ] It's not! It can't be- [ More static. ] I can't ever imagine up anyone like [ Static. ]
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[Beckett is an old hand at fighting delusions... and it may not be really Zell he's trying to convince here.]
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[ He's sounding more sure of it as he talks. ]
It's doing it again. I don't want to be back there ag- [ Static ]
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This is real. This is [ Static. ] This isn't [ Static static. ] I'm here. Right? [ There is a note of desperation with that question. ]
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I don't [static]ich of us is real. But I can hear you. At lea[static] comforting kind of madness.
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Jim keeps flicking out when they make contact every time the static starts to impair his vision again. But he's still holding on when Jim comes back.
Taking a shuddering breath. ]
A bit. [ He concedes quietly. ] I really hope I'm no[ Static Shock. ]ere anymore, Beckett. I want this [ Static ] real.
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You [static]live in your world. You never [static] otherwise. Tell me I'm not wrong.
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[ He'll take Norfinbury over being possibly stuck in Time Compression any day. ]
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[And, damnit, there is his need to know - it surrenders to absolutely nothing, no fear, no confusion, and no certainty that he may be better off not knowing. He needs to know.]
You're [static]ming through. Zell, what happened to y[static]ere do you think you're dreaming this?
no subject
Remember [ Static ] tablets were showing [ Static ]ly bad stuff? Really, really bad stuff? [ Static ]like that, but it's [ Static ]ual memories. It kept replaying [ Static ]ing could have gone wrong. I don't want [ Static. ] Jim reminds [ Static ]s is real, but now... [ He doesn't have that reminder. He can't latch on to Jim or even look at any of the proofs they did to remind him it's real. That he got out of time compression and he didn't imagine the party to try to make himself feel better. ]
no subject
He thinks of Okulos. It makes him give a shiver that's almost audible in his breath.]
This isn't [static]eplay. It's not a memory. I [static] so, at least. Things have, in a sen[static] wrong.
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I believe you. [ He thinks. There is a long thing of static.] Really, really frick[ Static. ]ng. H-how long un[ static ] meet them?
[ He's pretty sure Beckett shouldn't be alone for long. ]
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It takes him a moment to realise Zell is talking about Angel and Rhys. He lets out a long breath.] I don't [static]pend on how long [static] lasts.
no subject
Just static. The horrible static remains.
He's slow to respond once more as he scoots closer to his guiding Stars. ]
You shou[ Short static. ] with them. Even with [ Static.] this shit. It helps. [ It helps being able to reassure yourself by touching. ]
It [ Longer static ] the nanomachines. Something could be inter[ Static ] their signal. [ Or something could be trying to hijack their signal. Which is freaky. It makes him think of Winter and the Admin cutting away a memory from everyone.
As freaky as it is, it eases the doubts. It's easier to point fingers at something like machines or people screwing with said machines inside of you than going back down to the other possibility. ]