[ That's the important thing, isn't it? Jim doesn't want to cuff Zell. He just wants to hold him, no matter what his instincts are doing at the moment. ]
[ And Jim doesn't care if that makes him a hypocrite. He will get the handcuffs, though, if Zell wants them. He hesitates putting them on and lets them dangle from his hand. ]
How long are we gonna stay like this? What if it happens to me?
[ Once Jim goes for the bag, Zell is moving to sit against a wall. Watching his boyfriend until he returns with the cuffs. not how he imagined this would go down ]
Do. Do you feel any different?
[ He's only worried about how bad Jim will feel. ]
I don't know. Zack and Kunsel are heading over in a day or two, right?
[ The admission is grudging. It's more theoretical than anything - 'different' could change at any moment - but Jim's not ready to concede the point. ]
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[ Hurt him enough that Jim was wary of his touch. ]
I'm sorry, Stars. Maybe... maybe we should get out the cuffs? In case this isn't over with. I can't...I don't want to hurt you again.
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[ That's the important thing, isn't it? Jim doesn't want to cuff Zell. He just wants to hold him, no matter what his instincts are doing at the moment. ]
-We can if it will make you feel better.
he can take it huh ;D
I don't want you to have to take it, Stars. I don't want to hurt you. I shouldn't even be here right now.
[ It may happen again. It might come back on and off for the next couple of days. This place likes doing that. ]
I should have a pair in my bag.
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[ And Jim doesn't care if that makes him a hypocrite. He will get the handcuffs, though, if Zell wants them. He hesitates putting them on and lets them dangle from his hand. ]
How long are we gonna stay like this? What if it happens to me?
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not how he imagined this would go down]Do. Do you feel any different?
[ He's only worried about how bad Jim will feel. ]
I don't know. Zack and Kunsel are heading over in a day or two, right?
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[ The admission is grudging. It's more theoretical than anything - 'different' could change at any moment - but Jim's not ready to concede the point. ]
They are, but...
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He does reach over, pausing because he's worried about Jim's reaction. ]
It'll just be for a day. Just in case.
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Okay. Just in case.
The cuffs are chilly in his hands; he presses them between his palms, trying to warm them a little.
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I could leave, too.
[ Just offering it up there. Holding his breath and feeling his heart grow heavy again as he waits for the reaction for that. ]
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[ It comes out a little more panicked than Jim meant as he jerks his head up to stare at Zell. ]
Don't - just, look, the handcuffs are fine. Don't leave.
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He can see the bruises on Jim's neck.
It hurts. Bringing his knees up to his chest to hug on to them because he won't reach out for Jim again. ]
It'll be safer for you.
[ He doesn't want to go, but he doesn't want to leave more marks like those
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I don't care. These are good enough.
[ Jim knows what it's like to want to flee, but he's not about to let Zell do it. ]
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[ He could do damage with them. Just imagining the ways he could hurt is making his stomach lurch in a sickening way. ]
I don't want to lose you, Jim. I don't want to hurt you.
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[ Jim can't promise that Zell won't hurt him, but he can promise that he won't leave. ]
I don't want to lose you either.
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If something happens... hide. You have to promise me you'll hide at least.
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I promise I'll run. Not gonna stick around and let you kick my butt.
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Good. I love you, Stars.
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Really missed hearing that, you know?
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but neither of them can trust him now. He can see see the marks he left. Returning the kiss with a slow and drawn out one of his own. ]
I love you. [ He'll say it as many times as Jim wants to hear. ]