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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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[swatsflies]

[ And there is confirmation! Zell is going to forget helping the normal way and move over to stand behind Jim. Hooking his thumbs into his belt to give it a tug. ]

Right. [ Grinning as he repeats the word as confirmation. It's confirmation to let Jim know he's definitely okay with that. Home has already changed it's meaning from a place, to a person an inch or two shorter than he is. ]

With a lot more blankets?

Day 182; action; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

[ Another day, another night passing things by as well as he can. He's got his tablet out flitting through what remains of the photographs. Trying to focus on that instead of his reflection here and there, but he can't help that. Can't help the way he occasionally checks his eyes to make sure they're back to how they ought to be. And that they're staying that way.

Which is why he needs to focus again and he does, tapping to the next photo. Studying that next victim of this town. He's so engrossed, he loses track of the time pretty quickly. So much so that he doesn't hear the footsteps when they come his way.

Not that he necessarily wants to be relieved of that duty that night. ]

if he screams, Zell will rescue him from the cat ᕙ[ ・ ∧ ・ ]ᕗ

[swatsflies]

[ The pitter-patter steps are from a cat that has been removed from bed. Having been displaced when Zell got up to get ready for his turn at watch, Mochi seeks a new place to sleep. He spots the stationary lap of Zack Fair, and heads over for it. There is no warning or anything, just the round ball of fur climbing in and using accidental claws in the process. ]

Mochi. C'mon. I'm sorry.

[ From the sounds of his footfalls, Zell isn't far behind the cat. He's the one responsible for disturbing the cat in the first place when he got up for his turn on watch. Leaving his tablet behind and following the light of Zack's tablet as a guide to both furball and the Soldier. ]

sdfohusd He won't scream, promise

[heroproceeding]

[ Zack might have been pretty focused on the tablet but not enough not to notice the big, waddling ball of fluff that comes padding along his way. It's not the first time Mochi's come to see him when he's gotten rolled over on by someone though and Zack doesn't really think much of it. That is, until the cat's on top of him and disrupting his concentration and those might be claws.

Zack groans, more in frustration than pain, as he tries to pry said cat off his lap. He usually doesn't mind, but in this case? Yeah, no. ]

Mochi, get off.

[rattlingthestars]

Right.

[ Home is turning to look up at him with warmth shining in his eyes. ]

A lot more blankets. And... pillows. A mountain. [ Jim leans back into Zell, enjoying, as he always does, the warmth of his boyfriend at his back. ] We'll build it in front of the fire and stay there all night.

[ He casts a glance over their efforts, which seem pale and gray in light of what Jim's imagining for them. He's still warm, though, with Zell. ]

-But this is good too.

[rattlingthestars]

I don't know. [ It's not loud, but the words are more anguished than Jim means them to be. It's a reflection of where his mind's been the past few days, turning it over until he's exhausted himself because there was nothing else he could do. He misses the days when it was as easy as going out to get into trouble when he didn't want to think anymore.

That impulse is what got him into this mess.

He runs a hand through his hair, then down his face, and looks up at Zell like he might have the answers. ] I thought it was something I could just... ignore. Or move past, with you. But.

[ He doesn't finish the thought. ] There was even a name for it.

[swatsflies]

[ It's looks like this that reminds Zell just how lucky he is. Giving a content sigh as he feels Jim's weight against him. Sliding his hands around to rest on his stomach. Burying his face against Jim's neck, while he huffs a laugh. ]

And you'll read to me? [ Pressing his lips against the curve of his neck. ]

This is definitely good.

[ Even if he's not really looking at the whole picture. He's just zoomed in on Jim and how he filled the room with warmth just by being there. ]

[swatsflies]

[ The emotions behind the words break Zell's heart a bit. He sees that searching look. Sliding his fingers through his boyfriend's hair and then digging them in the back of his head to get at the skin there. Massaging his scalp in quick little circles as he leans forward to bump their foreheads together.

He knows the name. His mouth starts to form the letters silently, before he stops and focuses on the more important part. ]

Stars. [ The nickname comes out quietly and he waits a moment, before continuing: ] I don't think anything is wrong with you.

[ There is a pause as he leans his head back to see all of Jim's face. ]

Yeah, something really bad happened to you. It haunts you and sometimes it's like you're still there in that moment. It's something that can happen when you go through a situation like that.

[dumed]

Yeah, as long as you realize it.

[swatsflies]

I do.
Still going to do my best to help them when I can.

[swatsflies]

[ Those are claws of affection. Zack should be honored.

The cat puts little resistance to being pried off, but he is wearing a very displeased face.

Zell finally reaches the pair of them. Automatically holding his hands up to take the fuzz butt from Zack. ]

I can find a place for him-

[ That's when he notices what's on the tablet screen. ] Still trying to figure out who they are?

[heroproceeding]

[ He'll be honored when he's not in the middle of something.

Actually, no, those things still hurt.

So, he'll gladly be handing over the fuzz ball, fully intent on going back to work when he pauses at that question. In the end, he answers with a faint shrug as he looks back at his screen. ]

Yeah. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean I guessed there would probably be more people there than I'd seen, but... I didn't expect there to be so many.

[ So many faces he hadn't known for that matter. He can't recall talking to many of them and he's been here for a while now. Did that many people fall prey that fast to the town? ]

[rattlingthestars]

Anything you want.

[ Jim brings up one arm to rest on the back of Zell's neck, leaving the line of his stomach further unguarded. ]

It'll probably get better if we finish it.

[swatsflies]

Anything? [ Once again, he has a few ideas as to what he would like to do. Some he wouldn't mind trying out before then, too. Spreading his fingers out to explore lower and lower on his stomach. ]

We'll finish it. [ Chortling quietly after nipping against that neck. Zell is going to be finished at this point with all the touches and the talk of home. ]

[swatsflies]

[ Shifting the cat to fit more comfortable against his shoulder. Petting the cat until he can hear the soothing rumble coming from some where inside of him. ]

You should ask Steph and Al. They know almost everyone.

[ Steph is Norfinbury's google, which was amazing. The petting soon stops as he watches Zack's expression. He's starting to catch on more and more the language mapped out on the Soldier's features. He knows the numbers, and it's so much easier just thinking of them as just that. Numbers. Data that Steph collected and shared with everyone.

Not long enough ago, Zack was also one of those numbers.

Dropping down to a crouch to be at level with him. ]

Yeah, it's pretty frickin' nuts how many there are.

night of 185; text

[armoured]

Hey, Zell. I need to ask you a favour.

[swatsflies]

Yo, Al! What's up?

[armoured]

I'm outside.

[That's such a pleasant way to say that he's about to die.]

Zack's going to take it hard, can I trust you to take care of him?

[swatsflies]

Outside?
Isn't it

[ Oh Shit.

He can feel everything turning cold inside of him as the realization settles in. It's after lockdown and Al is locked outside.

It's the second part of the message that keeps him together long enough to send a response ]

Y
Yeah I can do that.
You can count on me.

[ He has to keep it together for Zack. ]

[heroproceeding]

[ Purring cats at least make things marginally better. Not all that much better currently, but... getting there.

Zack nods faintly at the suggestion though he doesn't seem to be entirely listening. His eyes remain glued to the screen as he mentally counts just how many photographs compiled alone. He only twitches faintly when he sees something move out of the corner of his eye before he realizes it's just Zell moving to get a closer look. ]

Yeah... Forty-three at the chapel alone. That doesn't even include what we took at the hospital and the police station. [ Nor does it include the funeral home either and gauging by how many people have revived there... He imagines there has to be a lot that haven't.

Hesitantly, he holds out his tablet to Zell. ] See anyone else you recognize?

[swatsflies]

[ The combination of giant cat in his arms and his present position makes it difficult to move around. He makes a face as the tablet is held out, remembering that there were a few people he's spoken in the past. He's seen the pictures from when they were shared for identification a couple of nights afterwards. Zell has been pretty occupied since then to actually say anything.

There is a low meow from his furry captive. Realizing he stopped petting the cat, he scritches him behind the ears before putting him down. ]

Yeah. I did. [ There is a pause before the question he's been putting off comes tumbling out quietly: ] Why didn't you tell me Cissnei was there? [ His tone wasn't accusatory or angry. It's just a question that's been bugging him since after that night they went to the chapel. ]

[heroproceeding]

[ Oh- right. Cat. That would be a problem. Not that it's not eventually solved anyway when Zell puts Mochi down. Not that Mochi seems particularly happy about that, but work with them, furball. You'll get more attention in a second.

He's pretty quickly forgotten anyway in the face of Zell's question. Zack bites his lip a bit, brows furrowing slightly. ] I was kinda occupied at the moment. Needed to get back to you guys.

[ And that was a lot more important. But that doesn't stop him from shaking his head slightly, letting out a sigh. Didn't mean he couldn't have told them eventually. Especially when Zell had seemed happy to meet Cissnei back then. ]

Sorry. I should have told you. I just kinda found out the hard way.

[swatsflies]

[ Was occupied then. It's been about sixty-four days since Zack and Kunsel died. It's been Sixty-two days since he spoke to him. He remembers the day pretty vividly thanks to the emotional roller coaster and general suckiness that was that entire thing. ]

I know. I know you were dealing with a lot of crazy crap that day. It was hell.

[ But Zack told him if he ever heard anything about Cissnei, he'd be the first to know. Then it turns out he had to find out the hard way, too. The tablet is taken to put the energy to better use. Flipping through pictures. He pauses at the kid with similar hair style as Sora's, and then keeps going. Stopping at the picture of Lynne to turn it over. ] Lynne. She was really friendly.

[ The chapel seems to like redheads ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Stars. Jim closes his eyes against the pause, unsure what will come out next.

That it's not a judgement, but it's not a refutation either. Zell knew, too - and how could he not? He'd seen the worst of it, the worst of Jim.

Jim looks away from Zell's gaze, automatically, before his eyes are drawn back in. ]

It's something that happens, on your world? Does it... get better?

[swatsflies]

[ No judgement or refutation. There is definitely confidence as he waits for Jim's eyes to meet his again. Cupping the side of Jim's face to brush his thumb against his cheek. ]

Yeah, it does. It happens to soldiers and survivors.

[ Shifting on to the tip of his toes as he presses a kiss against his forehead. Looking back at him again. ]

I think it can. Just have to work on it, you know? With time and help.