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[swatsflies]

@ZD
Yo! I'm not in right now. Leave me a message.

((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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[rattlingthestars]

Look all you want, then.

[ Jim doesn't register how light the touch is, but he's noticing the cold. ]

Inside, where we're not freezing our asses off anymore.

[swatsflies]

[ His nose is turning red cause it's cold, but he doesn't feel it. He pouts, but it drops back into a smile. ]

I can warm you up, Stars.

[ Sorry for being disgusting, Zack and Kunsel. Zell does get up finally, but he's slow about it. His attention going between Jim and then where he places his feet to make sure he's not going to step wrong. ]

How long has it been?

[ He hasn't even checked the network outside of contacting them for meeting place. ]

[swatsflies]

[ Letting out a grateful sigh at that. Then he'll pull his arms back slowly, not to disengage his hands, but to bring Jim closer. ]

Good. I love you, Stars.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim goes, easy, and kisses Zell soundly as soon as he gets there. ]

Really missed hearing that, you know?

[rattlingthestars]

Too long.

[ Jim's not even lying about that, it was the worst night he's spent here. ]

-A day.

[ Jim's sounding a little distracted, though, as he watches Zell get up. ]

Are you sick again? You're moving slow.

[ Maybe he hurt Zell when Zell fell over? ]

[swatsflies]

[ It feels like too long for him too. A WHOLE DAY without seeing him in the morning sucks. Zell snags his hand, but seems a little unsure about how much force to use in holding it. ]

Huh? Whoa! Just a day?

[ And at the question, he shakes his head. Giving his hand a squeeze. ]

Not sick. I just can't feel anything.

[swatsflies]

[ He wants to wrap his arms around him or to run his hands through his hair...

but neither of them can trust him now. He can see see the marks he left. Returning the kiss with a slow and drawn out one of his own. ]

I love you. [ He'll say it as many times as Jim wants to hear. ]

i am left with weird icons, forgive me

[rattlingthestars]

[ It's definitely feeling weird, now, the way Zell's holding him like he could accidentally break him. The explanation makes sense with what he's seen, though he doesn't like it at all. ]

-Even the cold, right?

[ Jim's guessing, but he thinks it's correct anyway. ]

Let me.

[ He shifts his grip a little in Zell's hand, the better to guide him with. ]

[swatsflies]

Even the cold. Going to warm me up when we're inside?

[ Zell is just really, really glad to see his boyfriend again. Trusting him to guide him and set the pace as he looks at their linked hands. It's actually bitter sweet. He can recall how it feels, but he really wants to feel it again. The warmth and how their hands fit together. ]

Let me know if it's too tight, Stars.

@librarian; video; night 380

[cahooted]

Hey Zell, uh. I just saw. What happened and just, I know we haven't talked in a while but I wanted to check in, see how you're doing. I mean, I know you're probably not okay, but if you want to talk, just...

[A pause. He knows exactly how it feels, maybe a little too well – which makes this even harder and he finds his tongue tied, finds himself out of his depth. What do you say that isn't just empty sentiment at this point? Is there anything you can say?]

I hope he'll be back soon.

[rattlingthestars]

Not even in a fun way.

[ Jim gives Zell his best grumpy look, but it's not very good. He's too relieved to have him back to grumble, even while his heart twists imagining what Zell's feeling. ]

It's not too tight. You can - you can hold as tight as you want to.

@zd; text; morning 381

[swatsflies]

[ He doesn't respond immediately because the bunker sucks :< His voice is still sore from crying, so he's sending a text. ]

Bunker
He went through too many rooms
Got sick and died

[swatsflies]

[ He tightens the hold a little, but is still being careful. Swinging their linked hands. He's just happy and wants to stare at that beautiful face for a long time. ]

I'll make up for it when I feel again.

[ As well as when they get some privacy. ]

[cahooted]

I'm sorry.

Are you with anyone?

Late 381/Early 382, Text/Massive TLDR

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's been pacing the hospital morgue. He'd thrown off the bodybag and gotten out of the drawer as quickly as possible, but the morgue was sealed up tight for the night. Of course he'd end up back in the hospital. He barely recognizes the place; he'd avoided it as much as he could every time they'd passed through here, and of course he hadn't seen it the first time.

But the panic's there in his chest, if he looks for it. The fear of the darkness, of the suffocation - of death, again, of blindness and helplessness. He's not helpless this time, though he can't put a finger on what he's lost yet. It didn't matter. He had himself, and all his senses, and he could make it through this alone if he had to.

He opens his tablet anyway, as soon as he finds it. The rest of his stuff's missing, but it must be back at the bunker with the others. His hands linger over the message field, hesitating to send anything. What if it were a lie, and the administration could read every message? What if Zell had already moved on? Jim's not even sure how long he's been dead.

He grips the tablet tight and takes a deep breath in, holds it, lets it out. The exercises he'd learned to cope before don't help as much as they could when he's standing in the middle of all this, but they help enough to steady his hands as he types. ]

Hey. I'm alive.

[swatsflies]

Zack and Kunsel
Still at Bunker
Waiting to hear from

[ Jim. They are staying put waiting for Jim. And it's hard. His group has only died a couple of times during this whole time. ]

grabby hands teal deer

[swatsflies]

[ He hasn't been sleeping well because everything feels empty and cold. So he's sitting up, watching Mochi and Morph sleep beside him when he hears the message chime. Zell holds his breath as he grabs the tablet to click on his messages. There has been a message or two from concerned friends, but he's hoping it's Jim. He's hoping he's back.

When he sees the name, relief floods him. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Clicking voice message instead, not going to worry about waking the others up. ]

Hey, baby. [ He sounds tired but his tone has the usual warmth reserved for Jim alone. ] Where are you?

[cahooted]

That's good.

[At least he isn't alone, Flynn is relieved that he has friends with him.] Is there anything I can do?

[swatsflies]

[ it takes a while longer before he responds. ]

Where are you?

[cahooted]

I'm afraid I'm a little further out.

Radiation zone, close to the Columbarium.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim just wants to listen to that message over and over again. For him, it feels like he's just woken from a long night of sleep after the antagonizing way he'd died, but still.

It's Zell's voice, and it calms some of the panic of the hospital. Still, Jim finds himself hesitating to share too much, afraid of something nameless. Could he be sure of who he was talking to? ]

A long way from the bunker.

[ That was safe. It could be a couple of different morgues. ]

[rattlingthestars]

It'll be over soon.

[ Jim hopes so, anyway. He's just as eager to make up for lost time, judging by the way he tugs Zell over to the nearest soft surface as soon as they're indoors. Brushing the snow off of him with gentle hands is interrupted by a flying ball of fluff, unfortunately. ]

Mochi!

[swatsflies]

[ Zell is reaching with his free hand to help with snow removal when Mochi arrives. Laughing as he let's Jim go to pick up Mochi. ]

There's my favorite cat.

[ He can hear the purring and can imagine the feel of it. Rubbing his face into the fur, even if he can feel it. ]

[swatsflies]

[ Presses his forehead against the screen. ]

I miss you, Stars. We're waiting at the high school for you.

[ Zell already wants to open the tunnnel and RUN until he finds him, but he doesn't know where Jim is. Which...is strange. It's strange Jim is using text and hasn't said where he is. ]

We all are. Everything okay?

[swatsflies]

[ Bummer, but also there's some positive out of it. ]

Keep an eye out for him for me?