[ He manages to keep himself from just blabbing it immediately. Pulling face back to search Jim's eyes for a moment. Trying to see if there is some understanding. Once he figures out Jim doesn't really have a clue he answers quietly. ]
His scars.
[ Bringing up a hand to poke himself in the chest for emphasize. ]
I saw 'em. He said he would talk to you guys about them.
[ It's not really the most important detail, but it's one that stuck with Jim anyway. It'd been so long since he felt rain. ]</small
Soldiers caught up to us. Dozens of 'em. They just opened fire.
[ What Jim is saying does click something else in place. Reaching up to run his fingers through his hair as his tone grows softer. ]
In the past, he said something about protecting Cloud. It was around the time we... you know kissed for the first time. [ And actually hooked up all in one go. ]
That was the second time we talked about it. [ Looking away for a moment. ] The first time was back at the hospital. When you couldn't see and we were doing laundry. I walked in to see if he needed paper clips to hold up his sheet.
[ AND SAW SO MUCH MORE THAN HE EVER WANTED Wincing a little as he does figure out how long it's been. ]
-Huh. Guess that's why he's so uptight about changing clothes.
[ It's a small mystery solved, but it's better than focusing on the big questions without any real answers. It's also better than thinking about how long Jim's been oblivious to all of this. ]
[ For a moment, he wants to start trying to map out the scars on Jim, but thinks better of it. ]
They were all scars when I saw them.
[ Nuzzling him. ]
It's. [ Feeling guilt weighing heavily. ] When I saw them, I knew he couldn't have made it out. Then when we were talking about medical records, I realized that bring brought here is what probably saved him.
[ Shifting their fingers to weave them together and give them a squeeze. ]
His scars or... [ The dying part. Zell nods his head. ] Yeah, I do. They said they successfully resuscitated him in the medical records. I think he's alive again and can go back to his world or any world without any fear. I don't think he buys it though.
But that's the thing, he's not going right back to that moment. If this place can bring people here, choose a destination, then it can work in reverse. We'll figure it all out and go some where we all can be.
[ Pausing to calm down again and nuzzle against Jim's face. Brushing his hair lightly in a soothing way as he nods. ]
And you know we'll help rebuild it. [ He's pretty sure Kunsel and Zack wouldn't let them have all the fun building. Zell is going to miss the opportunity to make a joke about winding up with a baby carriage shaped Inn if Zack helps. His tone is taking on a positive note. ]
Whatever happens, we'll find a way to fix it. [ Pressing a kiss against his forehead. ]
[ The fact that Zell's starting to sound better is easing the knot in Jim's chest, too. He takes a deep breath and when Zell asks a question, effectively changing the subject, he's willing to jump on it.
Even if it does mean groaning quietly. ]
Like I want to crawl in a hole for admitting all that crap.
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His scars.
[ Bringing up a hand to poke himself in the chest for emphasize. ]
I saw 'em. He said he would talk to you guys about them.
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Don't think we got that far.
[ The conversation had been too rough and raw-edged for that. Seeing the wounds that killed him really might have put Jim over the edge. ]
He showed you?
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I walked in on him while he was changing.
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[ Jim reaches up to run a hand through Zell's hair and ends up just holding on to the back of his neck. ]
I think I saw it happen.
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Then what Jim says he him balking. ]
Whoa! What? You saw it happen?
[ Boyfriend, pls explain. ]
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[ That night when they'd believed they were alone, that Kunsel and Zack were gone forever. ]
The dream we shared... I don't know if I ever told you about it. I guess most of it isn't mine to tell.
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It was a bad time.
[ With the gas masks and everything else taking priority. ]
What happened in it?
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[ It's not really the most important detail, but it's one that stuck with Jim anyway. It'd been so long since he felt rain. ]</small Soldiers caught up to us. Dozens of 'em. They just opened fire.
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In the past, he said something about protecting Cloud. It was around the time we... you know kissed for the first time. [ And actually hooked up all in one go. ]
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-That was a long time ago. You've been carrying this around all by yourself since then?
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[
AND SAW SO MUCH MORE THAN HE EVER WANTEDWincing a little as he does figure out how long it's been. ]no subject
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what are their names
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[ It's a small mystery solved, but it's better than focusing on the big questions without any real answers. It's also better than thinking about how long Jim's been oblivious to all of this. ]
How bad is it?
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They were all scars when I saw them.
[ Nuzzling him. ]
It's. [ Feeling guilt weighing heavily. ] When I saw them, I knew he couldn't have made it out. Then when we were talking about medical records, I realized that bring brought here is what probably saved him.
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He shakes off the thought. It was months ago, now, and Jim can only take care of what's in front of him. Who's in front of him.
He takes Zell's hand and squeezes it tight. ]
DO you think it's... permanent?
thats why they are called scars, Jim
His scars or... [ The dying part. Zell nods his head. ] Yeah, I do. They said they successfully resuscitated him in the medical records. I think he's alive again and can go back to his world or any world without any fear. I don't think he buys it though.
[ which is where the frustration comes in from. ]
hush
[ Jim huffs, shaking his head. ]
Especially since I think if he goes right back to that moment, he'll just have to die all over again.
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[ Zell sounds confident in it. ]
We'll figure it out.
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[ Jim swallows hard. He wants to believe that. It's something they've all talked about before. ]
There's room for all of us back home. Or there will be, once we rebuild it.
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And you know we'll help rebuild it. [ He's pretty sure Kunsel and Zack wouldn't let them have all the fun building. Zell is going to miss the opportunity to make a joke about winding up with a baby carriage shaped Inn if Zack helps. His tone is taking on a positive note. ]
Whatever happens, we'll find a way to fix it. [ Pressing a kiss against his forehead. ]
How are you feeling about everything else?
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Even if it does mean groaning quietly. ]
Like I want to crawl in a hole for admitting all that crap.
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It sounded like some serious stuff. Do I need to go teach anyone some manners?
[ You know, like House? Even if Jim did manage to turn things around on the grouch, him slinging it at Jim like that in the first place... ]
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cheese
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