☼Inbox

[swatsflies]

@ZD
Yo! I'm not in right now. Leave me a message.

((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

Comments

[rattlingthestars]

[ When Zell saw them. Jim wonders what they'd looked like when Zack arrived here, if they were healed up by whatever the admin had done or still raw -

He shakes off the thought. It was months ago, now, and Jim can only take care of what's in front of him. Who's in front of him.

He takes Zell's hand and squeezes it tight. ]

DO you think it's... permanent?

thats why they are called scars, Jim

[swatsflies]

[ Shifting their fingers to weave them together and give them a squeeze. ]

His scars or... [ The dying part. Zell nods his head. ] Yeah, I do. They said they successfully resuscitated him in the medical records. I think he's alive again and can go back to his world or any world without any fear. I don't think he buys it though.

[ which is where the frustration comes in from. ]

hush

[rattlingthestars]

From what I saw... don't think I blame him.

[ Jim huffs, shaking his head. ]

Especially since I think if he goes right back to that moment, he'll just have to die all over again.

[swatsflies]

But that's the thing, he's not going right back to that moment. If this place can bring people here, choose a destination, then it can work in reverse. We'll figure it all out and go some where we all can be.

[ Zell sounds confident in it. ]

We'll figure it out.

[rattlingthestars]

-Yeah.

[ Jim swallows hard. He wants to believe that. It's something they've all talked about before. ]

There's room for all of us back home. Or there will be, once we rebuild it.

[swatsflies]

[ Pausing to calm down again and nuzzle against Jim's face. Brushing his hair lightly in a soothing way as he nods. ]

And you know we'll help rebuild it. [ He's pretty sure Kunsel and Zack wouldn't let them have all the fun building. Zell is going to miss the opportunity to make a joke about winding up with a baby carriage shaped Inn if Zack helps. His tone is taking on a positive note. ]

Whatever happens, we'll find a way to fix it. [ Pressing a kiss against his forehead. ]

How are you feeling about everything else?

[rattlingthestars]

[ The fact that Zell's starting to sound better is easing the knot in Jim's chest, too. He takes a deep breath and when Zell asks a question, effectively changing the subject, he's willing to jump on it.

Even if it does mean groaning quietly. ]

Like I want to crawl in a hole for admitting all that crap.

[swatsflies]

[ Adjusting them both to pull Jim further on him. ]

It sounded like some serious stuff. Do I need to go teach anyone some manners?

[ You know, like House? Even if Jim did manage to turn things around on the grouch, him slinging it at Jim like that in the first place... ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim groans quietly. ]

No. I think I took care of it.

[ He does look up, to see what Zell thinks of how he took care of it. Jim's aware it really wasn't the greatest way to handle the situation. ]

[swatsflies]

[ Spilling his guts seems to have calm the compulsion to voice everything he's thinking. So he manages not to just dive into questions or talk about how he's not even sure what to make of it.

Jim sits firmly in the can probably get away with almost anything box with Zell. House was prodding into things he knew would hurt Jim, and Jim dished his medicine back at him. House actually retreated which hits on just how much it hit him.

He feels pretty...mixed if he's honest. ]

Yeah, I saw.

[ Sliding his fingers through Jim's hair. ]

What do you feel about it? You okay with how you took care of it?

[rattlingthestars]

Why shouldn't I be?

[ That's not actually an answer; it's barely even a challenge. Jim huffs and is grateful that whatever the magic of the night was, it seems to be wearing off. ]

He hit me where it hurt for no reason. We were doing okay before that.

[swatsflies]

Because you care.

[ Tipping Jim's head up to meet his eyes as he brushes his thumb against his cheekbone. ]

I don't give a shit if his feelings are hurt.

[ Bumping his forehead against Jim's. ]

What I care about is how you feel, Stars. If you're good with how it went, then I'll have your back.

[rattlingthestars]

-I'm good. I guess I just cared about what you thought.

[ Maybe he's not a great person, but if Zell doesn't care, isn't disappointed in him? Screw 'em. ]

Don't think he's going to bring it up again.

[swatsflies]

[ Zell is a mercenary, Jim. He doesn't have the best moral compass. ]

Hopefully he knows better.

[ Cause he might have to give him a lesson anyways. Huffing out for a moment and then nuzzling against Jim's neck. ]

Everything else went okay? Did you share anything else?

[ He's trying to figure out if Jim is okay. If there were any conversations that could have been upsetting. ]

[rattlingthestars]

Way too much. Probably not anything they couldn't guess.

[ Even if Jim weren't aware of how much he wears his issues on his sleeve, Beckett's attitude and House's would've clued him in.

He's quiet for a moment, and then there's a subtle change in his tone. ]

You were wrong, you know.

[swatsflies]

[ Zell leans back for a moment as he tries to figure out what Jim means by that. Searching his expression for a moment. An idea does pop in his head as he places his hand on Jim's shoulder. ]

About you? Nope. Not wrong.

[ He will fight Jim if this has to do with putting his boyfriend down in any way. ]

[rattlingthestars]

No, not that.

[ Maybe that too, but it's not what Jim meant. He reaches out and tucks Zell's hair behind his ear to get a good look at both eyes. ]

About picking up the pieces. It's not me.

[swatsflies]

[ Hand is in range for nuzzling and pressing a kiss against it.

It takes him a moment and then he remembers his conversation with Beckett. ]

You help me out a whole hell of a lot, Stars. You keep pushing me forward and give me something to work towards.

[rattlingthestars]

Maybe so.

[ Jim knows it's true, at least to an extent, but: ]

You're the strongest person I know, though, and you've done at least as much picking up as I have.

cheese

[swatsflies]

I'm only strong here because I have something to look forward to when I wake up. I can see you and know it's real, Stars.

[ Bumping his nose against Jim's. ]

You keep my head straight and give me strength.

[rattlingthestars]

You were strong before that.

[ Jim tilts up to kiss Zell's forehead, right between his eyebrows. ]

But if I can be your compass, then... good. I just want you to get out of here whole.

[swatsflies]

ANd I want you to get out of here mostly whole. Just taking your virginity ;D

[swatsflies]

[ He raises his brows, but to be a little silly. Sliding his thumbs against Jim's belt. ]

You know I want you to make it out whole, too. [ Whole Goods. ]

Do you still feel to compelled to tell the truth?

[ It's lightened up considerably since sharing stuff on the network but he wants to check if it's true with Jim too. ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim gives it a moment's consideration. He calls to mind things that hadn't come spilling out tonight, thankfully, and measures how badly he wants to tell Zell about them. ]

-It's broken, I think. Or we talked our way out of it.

[swatsflies]

[ He's not sure if he should be glad or not of that. Placing his hand on the small of Jim's back as he nuzzles him. ]

Are you going to believe you're the best thing in my life?

[ Kissing the corner of his mouth. ]

Want to share anything else, Stars?