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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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Re: <3 it is good

[swatsflies]

[ Presses a kiss against his neck. ]

Remember it's just me, Stars. [ He rests his hand over Jim's heart on his chest to feel for his heart beat. ]

Put your tablet face down on the bed. I'll leave mine face up for a little longer. [ Nuzzling against the nape of his neck. ]

Lean back against me. Remember our breathing exercises when I started training you? We're going to do those.

[rattlingthestars]

[ The muscles in Jim's neck are tense, but he lets himself be guided and follows Zell's instructions with only the smallest bit of hesitation. He doesn't miss the 'for a little longer,' and it has him pausing before he flips his own tablet over, all at once.

He leans back, slowly, against Zell but still poised to spring away if he needs to run. ]

Breathing exercises. Right.

[ He can't bring himself to close his eyes - he wants to be able to see when Zell flips the other tablet - but he does relax a little more and begin the exercises the way Zell'd taught him. ]

is this okay?

[swatsflies]

[ Feeling the rise and fall of Jim's chest under his hand, while he waits for Jim to relax. Pressing his lips against the pulse point on Jim's neck.

Reaching with his free hand to feel the edges of his own tablet. Setting his chin on Jim's shoulder as he murmurs: ] I'm here. Tell me when you want to stop, alright?

[ Then he gives it a moment longer, and then he flips his own tablet over slowly. ]

I'm here, Stars. Just me.

<3 <3 <3

[rattlingthestars]

Okay.

[ Jim feels ridiculous for the way his heart kicks up when the light of the tablet is gone and they're left in the complee darkness of Norfinbury. There's nothing here, no candle light, no stars. It's just Jim with his eyes open staring at nothing, Zell invisible at his back.

Jim breathes the way Zell taught him to, keeping himself calm. ]

-Okay.

[ He goes on like that, quiet, thinking about his breathing and about Zell's as long as he can. It's hard to tell how much time passes in the silence, but eventually Jim shakes his head and pulls out of Zell's arms, reaching for the tablet. ]

<3

[swatsflies]

[ It's stupidly comforting to Zell to hold on to Jim like this. He does let Jim pull out and reach for the tablet. Leaning towards his own to flip it back over slowly. ]

Good job, Stars. [ It's clear in the dim light that he's proud. Jim tried it, and lasted for what felt like a long time. ]

Re: <3

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim doesn't respond right away. His breathing's gone from the measured pace of the exercise to something ragged, like they've been working out together instead of sitting quietly on a bed. His emotions rise in his throat, and he struggles silently, but they don't win.

Good job.

Jim twists around and holds the tablet up to Zell's face, illuminating the familiar blue eyes so that Jim can stare at them. He still doesn't answer, but he does lower the tablet and tip forward to rest his forehead on Zell's. ]

Thank you.

Zell is stupid pass it on

[swatsflies]

[ Good job doesn't really scratch it well, but it was all he could really think to say that sums it up. He's proud of Jim. He's proud Jim actually said something and was trying before. And is trying now with him.

The light is bright compared to the rest of the things. His pupils contract as they adjust to the light. He waits patiently for Jim to move, or say something. When he finally does, he reaches up to cup the side of his face. Brushing his thumb against his cheekbones as his eyes dilate with the light off and his boyfriend being close. ]

You're beautiful. [ Giving an openly warm look full of affection and pride. ] How are you feeling? [ Moving his hand up to stroke Jim's hair. ]

Re: Zell is stupid pass it on

[rattlingthestars]

Like we've been sparring all day and it ended with you punching me in the chest. [ There's humor - as much as Jim can manage at the moment - but he's not exaggerating. Who knew sitting quietly could be so exhausting?

He reconsiders, though, wanting to give Zell a real answer for his effort. ] Not beautiful, but ... I didn't hit you. Or run.

Re: Zell is stupid pass it on

[swatsflies]

[ He is the resident Jim expert and if he says he's beautiful, then he is right!

Digging his fingers into his hair to rub at his scalp. Zell gets how much work that was for Jim from that description alone. ]

I'll get you to believe it some day. [ The compliment and so much more. Right now, he's still beaming with pride over Jim. ] You didn't. You stuck to it for as long as you could.

[rattlingthestars]

I think it helped. [ Jim's quiet, enjoying being the center of his boyfriend's focus. He's too exhausted to feel much, but the sound of Zell's pride is echoed faintly in Jim's chest. He did do it. ] I know it helped.

[ He's quiet again, thinking. Even if Jim were an optimist, it'd be obvious this isn't enough to make him the way he was before, but it's enough to start repairing the cracks. ]

So now I keep doing it. Over and over again.

doing it over and over again ;D

[swatsflies]

[ Can Jim feel the excitement coming off his boyfriend in waves? He's beaming still as he nuzzles his face. ]

Really? Hell yeah! [ Pressing a quick kiss against his lips. ] That's right. We'll keep doing it over and over. I'll be with you every step of the way. [ Zell is feeling pretty stupidly giddy that it helped. Patting the spot beside him as he cants his head towards the bed. ]

C'mon and lay with me.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim can't be quite as happy as his boyfriend is - where Zell sees a solution, Jim just sees the miles and miles of hard work ahead - but Zell being happy, combined with the relief that at least it's something, makes Jim happy as well.

He settles in next to Zell, throwing half his body over his boyfriend's to keep him there, and rests his head on Zell's chest instead of a pillow. ]

I know you will. Partners?

[swatsflies]

[ Zell knows the journey will be worth the ending. If Jim starts feeling like he can accomplish things and that he has a future again, then it'll be all worth it.

Now he has a boyfriend half on him. Wrapping his arms around him as he nuzzles against the top of his head. Breathing everything in deeply and feeling pretty warm inside and out. There is hope, and he's going to keep reminding Jim of that. ]

Partners. I love you, Stars.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's quiet for long enough that it might seem like he fell asleep or something, but eventually he squeezes tight around Zell and makes a contented noise. ]

Love you.