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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

Comments

[rattlingthestars]

Not on days like today. [ Jim meets his eyes and raises his eyebrows. He knows there's nothing comforting to be said, though at least they have a plan now. ] But I've got you.

[swatsflies]

Especially on days like today. [ Brushing his thumb against Jim's cheek. ] This is enough until we can find a way to stop it for good. [ Being mindful of the animal companions as he leans up to kiss Jim's forehead. ]

How about you?

[rattlingthestars]

[ He doesn't really want to answer, so mumbling as he tilts his forehead down for Zell seems like a good idea. ]

What about me?

[swatsflies]

[ Brushing away Jim's hair. ]

I want to help you, too. [ Bumping their foreheads together. ] You don't have to always be brave for me. We're supposed to share the good and bad, right?

[rattlingthestars]

I'm not being brave. [ Jim captures Zell's hand and squeezes it. ] It's... We've been here about six months, right? And I don't think a day's gone by that someone hasn't died. And at first every one hurt so bad.

[ He sucks in a breath, trying to gather his thoughts. ]

Even the ones that were strangers. Tadashi, Cloud, Hiro... [ Those had been worse than bad. Jim rubs his hand over his own eyes, shielding them for a moment. ] You remember what happened. What I did. After that ... I guess I couldn't let it hurt that much anymore.

[swatsflies]

[ He's not being brave. He has to do this or he could... it's like someone dumped ice down his back from the chill running through him. Returning the squeeze as he leans close, despite the cat's slight protest, as he bumps their foreheads together. ]

I get it. It's the only way to keep going... [ It's heart breaking in it's own way. If they weren't here, they could cry for a long time and just shut themselves up inside where it's warm and safe without fear of monsters or succumbing to whatever illness they have. ] Maybe... when I'm frustrated or upset, I punch walls or shadow box. [ A beat. ] I don't recommend punching walls. [ Or trains. ] We could spar whenever you need to get it all out.

[rattlingthestars]

I... [ Jim hesitates. It's one of those times when he's not sure if he should tell Zell what's going on inside his head, for Zell's sake. What he's already said has already upset his boyfriend.

Partners, he reminds himself, as he brings up his hands to examine Zell's knuckles. ] I'm not sure there's anything there to get out. It's just numb.

[swatsflies]

[ He lets Jim have his hand to investigate. He may be able to pick out the scars and scars on scars across his knuckles. Potions are a thing, but you couldn't stop in the middle to use one. Bumping the side of his face with his nose.

Feeling numb does raise his concern. It reminds him of being in shock until the entire thing crumbles down. He's not going to insist one way or another. Pressing a gentle kiss against a brow. ]

Are you okay with that? [ He might just be projecting, but he wouldn't be okay with that in Jim's place. but then he does the whole not dealing with things thing ]

[rattlingthestars]

Mm.

[ Jim feels familiar with these scars by now, after the amount of time he's spent exploring Zell's hands. He doesn't like any of them - he'd rather Zell weren't hurt at all - but they're part of the package he loves. His thumb pauses where he'd been tracing one when Zell kisses him. ]

I think it's easier that I am. I can keep going. Enjoy doing stuff with you. Help.

/flees

[swatsflies]

[ Tucking his face against Jim's neck. Breathing in the smell of leather and everything else that makes up his boyfriend as he thinks it over. He'll just have to be okay with it until Jim is ready. Nuzzling him as he breathes out against his skin. ]

Alright. Whatever you need to keep going. [ Pausing. ] Just know that if you want to stop for a moment, I'm here. I'll remind you how to enjoy stuff again

[ He'll pick up the pieces and stick to his side no matter the squalls. ]

i keep trying to reply and laughing like an idiot goddamn it

[rattlingthestars]

When this is all over...

[ When they're home, or somewhere like it. When Jim believes they're safe. ]

Maybe then I can. Until then I'm going to do my best to keep us moving.

not the only time something arrived early huh ;D

[swatsflies]

When this is over, let's just lay in bed for a few days straight. [ He's lowering his voice as he moves to press his mouth close to Jim's ear. Don't need any pink bubble gum looking critters repeating anything ]

Make a fort and ignore everything.

winkwonk

[rattlingthestars]

A fort in front of the fire. [ Jim uses Zell's closeness to steal a kiss from his jaw. ] Won't move for anything.

Re: winkwonk

[swatsflies]

[ Turning into him to press a kiss against his cheek. ]

Maybe we can convince Morph and Mochi to bring us food. [ That would be a good trick for the critters to learn.

The whole thing sounds pretty perfect though. Some where away from the snow where it's safe and warm. Some where they can call home. Moving a hand to brush his knuckles against the side of Jim's face. ]

good place to stop?

[rattlingthestars]

That or we'll build it in the kitchen.

[ It does sound perfect. Jim catches Zell's hand and holds it tight in his own. ]

We'll just have to see when we get there.

Yeah

[swatsflies]

[ Bringing his hand over to kiss his knuckles. ]

We'll figure it out once we're home.

[ At least get back to Jim's world. ]