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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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[rattlingthestars]

[ For all that Jim was teasing Zell a second ago, he's genuinely confused about where he's going with that hand. It makes it harder to focus on what he's saying, but maybe that's the point. Zell says he doesn't mind sharing, but Jim knows it might be hard for him to have a serious conversation about himself like this.

That's why Jim doesn't reciprocate the exploration even though it's been two whole days since he saw hip tattoo, but he doesn't stop Zell either. He just wants him to do whatever makes him feel better, whatever grounds him in the present even when he's talking about the past. ]

Like a spell?

[ That his boyfriend comes from somewhere with magic spells is still difficult to believe. Almost as difficult as believing he has a boyfriend. ]

[swatsflies]

[If he was going to intentionally distract Jim, it would be with something more than just fiddling with clothes. Sorry, Jim. Zell doesn't realize this could be having any kind of effect on his boyfriend. Probably doesn't help he's lightly tracing along the waist of Jim's pants over to his hip.]

Yeah, like a spell. I can show you when we get out of here or if we find a way to turn off whatever is putting a stop to magic here.

[He does have slow stocked up. And a number of other spells Jim might find entertaining like float or fire.]

It's like moving through something thick like molasses. You can feel everything slowing down and you're aware of everything around you being faster.

[Ceasing his exploring to reach behind him to find one of Jim's hands. It's a little awkward with his position, but he manages to curl a finger around one of his boyfriend's.]

At first everything is white and I can still hear everyone. Still see them. They vanish one by one and everything gets dark. We needed to concentrate on each other and to concentrate on where we were supposed to meet, but it doesn't make it easy. It messes with your head a bit. Shows you things over and over to make you doubt everything. [There's a pause here.] Shows you the worst that could have happened. Garden being destroyed. Balamb being burnt down to the ground. Losing someone you care about because of messing up or taking too long to save them.

[He can see Rinoa falling and missing the ledge instead. It didn't happen like that. He knows it, but the image is there still. Shaking his head slowly before scooting up further to nuzzle against Jim's neck and not think about it. Concentrate on now. What's happened has happened. It's all done with and over.]

I wasn't even hit with the worst of it. We all made it back, but it took some of us a lot longer.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim wants to see Zell's magic in action because he can scarcely believe it's real. For all he was willing to chase a storybook on the word of a dying old man, Jim likes the world around him to be solid and make sense. Magic... doesn't really fit into that. Then again, if anyone were magic, it would have to be Zell.

Zell, who... Jim listens in quiet, mounting worry as the story gets worse. ]

-Sounds like you got hit pretty bad, anyway. [ He's glad it wasn't the worst, if it was that bad. ] Sounds a lot like what happened the other night.

[swatsflies]

Yeah it does, huh.

[Seeing what happened to Rhys and everyone else... He's going to shut his eyes for a moment as he shakes his head. It didn't happen. It's done and over with. It doesn't matter.

Just taking a moment to concentrate on Jim's warmth and smell. How he can feel his pulse from his neck. Pressing a kiss just under his ear. Jim wanted more distractions, right?]

I'll be fine. [His voice is quiet as he places his hand over Jim's heart.] It'll go away eventually. [He's pretty sure about it.]

[rattlingthestars]

[ No, Jim wanted to listen, but he can't really deny Zell anything if that's what helps him. ]

I know you will.

[ That, at least, he has faith in: Zell is strong and smart and resourceful. He'll keep moving. For now, though, they don't have to move much. Just enough for Jim to kiss his head. ]

When it was over... [ He trails off, unsure of how to phrase the question, before pushing on: ] - How did you know things were real again?

[swatsflies]

You know, you help a lot. You give me something to focus on.

[To keep trying for and to keep inspiring new dreams.

Then he's thinking about when the whole thing was over.]

My friends were there. The same ones who went through all of that with me. Seeing them in Garden and hearing all the usual dorm noises helped a lot.

[He's not even going to think about any kind of doubts that it could still be a dream. That the happy ending never happened.]

It was waking up here that really...[It set him back a peg or two. Or maybe he would be set back as soon as he was alone. He didn't really get the chance back at home to be completely alone with everything quiet.]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim doesn't directly answer the comment about giving Zell something to focus on, but his hands are moving again: lightly skimming every part of Zell he can reach, a constant presence and reminder. Jim's here, and he's listening. ]

In Norfinbury? Before you found us? [ It had been weeks, Jim thinks, before Zell managed to stumble into the house where they'd been gathered. And Zell had still been talking about going back off on his own that night, if only to keep the others safe from any stunt he might pull. ] How long was it?

[swatsflies]

eeey can do that without the clothes on you know ;D ;D ;D

[swatsflies]

[It's pretty calming. Though he doesn't get why it's important to hear about the time before he joined the group.]

We have computers where I'm from, so figuring out the tablet was pretty easy. Seeing actual people on the network helped a lot. [Like certain pranking videos.]

I also found Angel and Rhys. Then joined up with Al's group for a bit. The rest of it doesn't really matter now.

[rattlingthestars]

It matters if it happened to you. If it - [ He trails off, not finishing the thought but making a quiet, wordless sound of frustration instead. ] It matters.

But I'm glad you found us. [ Zell could've so easily been one of those people he talks to on the network, runs into every few weeks, one of those names he'll eventually see pop up on the network. Instead he's here and Jim can hold him through this. ] Next time... if you wake up and I'm not here, I'll never be far away.

[swatsflies]

[Sitting up in order to actually get a look at Jim's face. Sliding his fingers through Jim's hair as he gives a small smile.] I'm glad I found you, too.

[Cupping his face as he leans down to give him a chaste kiss. Their friendship and subsequent has been pretty great. There is nothing he would change about any of it.] I know. It just takes a moment. [Especially after the shit with the tablets a few nights ago. That probably set him back, too. Set them all back.]

I'll be okay.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim tilts his head up to meet the kiss, keeping it chaste but lingering as long as Zell will let him.

When they part, though, he's meeting Zell's eyes again, willing him to understand what Jim means through his expression. ]

You will be. But it's ... it's alright not to be, sometimes. I think.

[swatsflies]

[Meeting his gaze and holding it for a while before moving to press a kiss against his forehead.]

Yeah....I know. [And for a reversal, he'll pat his lap.] Is it alright to keep leaning on you when I'm not?

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim climbs into it carefully, sideways rather than straddling Zell so that he can lean his head on Zell's chest. ] Any time you need to. I can carry you.

[ Jim's afraid he's not strong enough to keep that promise, even as he makes it, but it's something he knows Zell needs and that makes him brave. ]

[swatsflies]

[Wrapping his arms around him to give a hug.] I'll be in your care. [Rubbing his face against his boyfriend's head.] It goes both ways. I'll carry you when you need it. [Kissing his hair.] Or when you want it.

[rattlingthestars]

You already do. A lot. [ All the time, and only sometimes literally. Jim holds onto him tight in the hug. ] 's why I wanted to make sure you know it goes both ways. We're a team.

sorry for lame tag

[swatsflies]

[Massaging his scalp as he smiles. Seriously, he has the best boyfriend.] Yeah we are, baby.

[He relies on Jim a lot more. More than anyone really. It's amazing how that kind of bond happens. How much trust he has in the other to pick up the pieces in case he ever falls.]

Love you, my Stars.

nope <3

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's never had anyone rely on him before, not like this. For all the situation is terrible, he thinks he likes the weight of being the star Zell looks to for guidance. The answering 'I love you, Sunshine' is almost too soft to hear, because the thought is still a little scary.

Jim gently resettles them into something that's comfortable for sleeping and kisses Zell one more time. He doesn't actually pull his lips very far away when he's finished, because he wants to stay close enough to do it again. ] You should get some sleep. I'll... [ keep watch over him, in all likelihood. ] be here when you wake up.

haha whoops sorry and I guess this is over ;-;

[swatsflies]

[Going to snag another kiss as soon as Jim finish talking.]

I will soon. Get some sleep, too. [He just wants to enjoy Jim's weight and the way they fit together a little longer.]