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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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Late Night 217, Action

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's climbed back up on the server towers, keeping company with a hoard of dust bunnies and his own tangled thoughts. It's a little claustrophobic up here, but at least he's alone to sort through it all.

He thought that was what he wanted, but the weight of things is to much and he needs something. Someone.

His voice is quiet, but it carries in the silence of the all-but-abandoned building. ]

Sunshine?

Re: Late Night 217, Action

[swatsflies]

[ After a few serious conversations, Zell is working off his aggression through the very healthy coping mechanism of fighting invisible foes. Layers have been removed during the course of the night and the heat is getting to be a bit much. Zell is down to just a tank top and his jean shorts when Jim calls for him.

He snags his tablet as he heads back towards the racks that his boyfriend was favoring earlier. ]

Yeah, Stars? [ He pauses a moment to pull up the hem of his top to wipe away the sweat. say hello to your fave tattoo. ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Maybe it's a sign of exactly how bad things are that Jim doesn't seem cheered up - or even really distracted - at the sight of his favorite tattoo. ]

Can you come up?

[ It's a squeeze with both of them up there, but Jim doesn't think Zell will mind that part. ]

[swatsflies]

[ He doesn't ask or even give a confirmation. Zell pockets his tablet and then puts both hands up on the edge. Just pulls himself up there and then gets cozy by leaning against Jim. Pulling his tablet out again to make sure it's on and helping light up the little space they have. ]

Here. What's up, Stars?

[rattlingthestars]

[ As soon as Zell's up and settled, Jim's trying to climb half on top of him. He wants as much contact as possible to talk about this. ]

Did you talk to Zack?

[ Jim thinks he must've, but he's been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he might have missed it. ]

[swatsflies]

[ His arms immediately circle Jim as he leans close to nuzzle against the side of his face. Breathing out a huff as soon as Zack's name leaves Jim's lips. ]

Oh I talked to him alright.

[ If telling him he's being dumb and it's not fair counts as talking. Leaning back to search Jim's eyes. ]

Did you? Everything okay?

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's settling in his arms, but he leans back too at the tone in Zell's voice and studies his face, apparently trying to work out what happened just by looking at him. His boyfriend's face is expressive, but Jim's not that good at reading people. ]

-No.

[ He says, finally. ]

Nothing's okay.

[swatsflies]

[ Not good is what happened. Well maybe some good, but Zell knows Zack can be pretty stubborn. ]

Yeah. It's shit.

[ Leaning close to brush a quick kiss against Jim's forehead. ]

I've seen them before on accident.

[rattlingthestars]

Them...?

[ Suddenly Jim's not completely sure what Zell's talking about, and he's not actually sure he can handle any more shocking revelations tonight.

That's never actually stopped him before, though. ]

Zell, what are you talking about?

[swatsflies]

[ He manages to keep himself from just blabbing it immediately. Pulling face back to search Jim's eyes for a moment. Trying to see if there is some understanding. Once he figures out Jim doesn't really have a clue he answers quietly. ]

His scars.

[ Bringing up a hand to poke himself in the chest for emphasize. ]

I saw 'em. He said he would talk to you guys about them.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim shakes his head. ]

Don't think we got that far.

[ The conversation had been too rough and raw-edged for that. Seeing the wounds that killed him really might have put Jim over the edge. ]

He showed you?

[swatsflies]

Not intentionally. [ Pulling Jim tighter against him as he settles his chin on his shoulder. ]

I walked in on him while he was changing.

[rattlingthestars]

It was bad, wasn't it?

[ Jim reaches up to run a hand through Zell's hair and ends up just holding on to the back of his neck. ]

I think I saw it happen.

[swatsflies]

what are your thoughts on swiss cheese

[swatsflies]

[ He's quiet for a moment as he tries to remember the scars scattered across Zack's torso.

Then what Jim says he him balking. ]

Whoa! What? You saw it happen?

[ Boyfriend, pls explain. ]

[rattlingthestars]

Remember back when we shared dreams? Right after he died.

[ That night when they'd believed they were alone, that Kunsel and Zack were gone forever. ]

The dream we shared... I don't know if I ever told you about it. I guess most of it isn't mine to tell.

[swatsflies]

[ Back during the dream event. Making a face at that as he's not really sure how to feel about the news. Everyone keeps hiding things. ]

It was a bad time.

[ With the gas masks and everything else taking priority. ]

What happened in it?

[rattlingthestars]

In the end, we were on a cliff side in the rain.

[ It's not really the most important detail, but it's one that stuck with Jim anyway. It'd been so long since he felt rain. ]</small Soldiers caught up to us. Dozens of 'em. They just opened fire.

[swatsflies]

[ What Jim is saying does click something else in place. Reaching up to run his fingers through his hair as his tone grows softer. ]

In the past, he said something about protecting Cloud. It was around the time we... you know kissed for the first time. [ And actually hooked up all in one go. ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's head jerks up in surprise. ]

-That was a long time ago. You've been carrying this around all by yourself since then?

[swatsflies]

That was the second time we talked about it. [ Looking away for a moment. ] The first time was back at the hospital. When you couldn't see and we were doing laundry. I walked in to see if he needed paper clips to hold up his sheet.

[ AND SAW SO MUCH MORE THAN HE EVER WANTED Wincing a little as he does figure out how long it's been. ]

[rattlingthestars]

you been looking at other dude's butts

[swatsflies]

jim i live in dorms. i've seen so many butts

[rattlingthestars]

-Huh. Guess that's why he's so uptight about changing clothes.

[ It's a small mystery solved, but it's better than focusing on the big questions without any real answers. It's also better than thinking about how long Jim's been oblivious to all of this. ]

How bad is it?

[swatsflies]

[ For a moment, he wants to start trying to map out the scars on Jim, but thinks better of it. ]

They were all scars when I saw them.

[ Nuzzling him. ]

It's. [ Feeling guilt weighing heavily. ] When I saw them, I knew he couldn't have made it out. Then when we were talking about medical records, I realized that bring brought here is what probably saved him.