☼Inbox

[swatsflies]

@ZD
Yo! I'm not in right now. Leave me a message.

((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

Comments

[swatsflies]

[ Not good is what happened. Well maybe some good, but Zell knows Zack can be pretty stubborn. ]

Yeah. It's shit.

[ Leaning close to brush a quick kiss against Jim's forehead. ]

I've seen them before on accident.

[rattlingthestars]

Them...?

[ Suddenly Jim's not completely sure what Zell's talking about, and he's not actually sure he can handle any more shocking revelations tonight.

That's never actually stopped him before, though. ]

Zell, what are you talking about?

[swatsflies]

[ He manages to keep himself from just blabbing it immediately. Pulling face back to search Jim's eyes for a moment. Trying to see if there is some understanding. Once he figures out Jim doesn't really have a clue he answers quietly. ]

His scars.

[ Bringing up a hand to poke himself in the chest for emphasize. ]

I saw 'em. He said he would talk to you guys about them.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim shakes his head. ]

Don't think we got that far.

[ The conversation had been too rough and raw-edged for that. Seeing the wounds that killed him really might have put Jim over the edge. ]

He showed you?

[swatsflies]

Not intentionally. [ Pulling Jim tighter against him as he settles his chin on his shoulder. ]

I walked in on him while he was changing.

[rattlingthestars]

It was bad, wasn't it?

[ Jim reaches up to run a hand through Zell's hair and ends up just holding on to the back of his neck. ]

I think I saw it happen.

[swatsflies]

what are your thoughts on swiss cheese

[swatsflies]

[ He's quiet for a moment as he tries to remember the scars scattered across Zack's torso.

Then what Jim says he him balking. ]

Whoa! What? You saw it happen?

[ Boyfriend, pls explain. ]

[rattlingthestars]

Remember back when we shared dreams? Right after he died.

[ That night when they'd believed they were alone, that Kunsel and Zack were gone forever. ]

The dream we shared... I don't know if I ever told you about it. I guess most of it isn't mine to tell.

[swatsflies]

[ Back during the dream event. Making a face at that as he's not really sure how to feel about the news. Everyone keeps hiding things. ]

It was a bad time.

[ With the gas masks and everything else taking priority. ]

What happened in it?

[rattlingthestars]

In the end, we were on a cliff side in the rain.

[ It's not really the most important detail, but it's one that stuck with Jim anyway. It'd been so long since he felt rain. ]</small Soldiers caught up to us. Dozens of 'em. They just opened fire.

[swatsflies]

[ What Jim is saying does click something else in place. Reaching up to run his fingers through his hair as his tone grows softer. ]

In the past, he said something about protecting Cloud. It was around the time we... you know kissed for the first time. [ And actually hooked up all in one go. ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's head jerks up in surprise. ]

-That was a long time ago. You've been carrying this around all by yourself since then?

[swatsflies]

That was the second time we talked about it. [ Looking away for a moment. ] The first time was back at the hospital. When you couldn't see and we were doing laundry. I walked in to see if he needed paper clips to hold up his sheet.

[ AND SAW SO MUCH MORE THAN HE EVER WANTED Wincing a little as he does figure out how long it's been. ]

[rattlingthestars]

you been looking at other dude's butts

[swatsflies]

jim i live in dorms. i've seen so many butts

[rattlingthestars]

who are these butts

what are their names

[rattlingthestars]

-Huh. Guess that's why he's so uptight about changing clothes.

[ It's a small mystery solved, but it's better than focusing on the big questions without any real answers. It's also better than thinking about how long Jim's been oblivious to all of this. ]

How bad is it?

[swatsflies]

[ For a moment, he wants to start trying to map out the scars on Jim, but thinks better of it. ]

They were all scars when I saw them.

[ Nuzzling him. ]

It's. [ Feeling guilt weighing heavily. ] When I saw them, I knew he couldn't have made it out. Then when we were talking about medical records, I realized that bring brought here is what probably saved him.

[rattlingthestars]

[ When Zell saw them. Jim wonders what they'd looked like when Zack arrived here, if they were healed up by whatever the admin had done or still raw -

He shakes off the thought. It was months ago, now, and Jim can only take care of what's in front of him. Who's in front of him.

He takes Zell's hand and squeezes it tight. ]

DO you think it's... permanent?

thats why they are called scars, Jim

[swatsflies]

[ Shifting their fingers to weave them together and give them a squeeze. ]

His scars or... [ The dying part. Zell nods his head. ] Yeah, I do. They said they successfully resuscitated him in the medical records. I think he's alive again and can go back to his world or any world without any fear. I don't think he buys it though.

[ which is where the frustration comes in from. ]

hush

[rattlingthestars]

From what I saw... don't think I blame him.

[ Jim huffs, shaking his head. ]

Especially since I think if he goes right back to that moment, he'll just have to die all over again.

[swatsflies]

But that's the thing, he's not going right back to that moment. If this place can bring people here, choose a destination, then it can work in reverse. We'll figure it all out and go some where we all can be.

[ Zell sounds confident in it. ]

We'll figure it out.

[rattlingthestars]

-Yeah.

[ Jim swallows hard. He wants to believe that. It's something they've all talked about before. ]

There's room for all of us back home. Or there will be, once we rebuild it.

[swatsflies]

[ Pausing to calm down again and nuzzle against Jim's face. Brushing his hair lightly in a soothing way as he nods. ]

And you know we'll help rebuild it. [ He's pretty sure Kunsel and Zack wouldn't let them have all the fun building. Zell is going to miss the opportunity to make a joke about winding up with a baby carriage shaped Inn if Zack helps. His tone is taking on a positive note. ]

Whatever happens, we'll find a way to fix it. [ Pressing a kiss against his forehead. ]

How are you feeling about everything else?