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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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[armoured]

No, it's--

[He hesitates a long... long time, before steeling himself to go on.]

It's like my body, Zell, it's hollow. I lost my original one trying to bring my mother back.

[swatsflies]

[ Oh he just lost his body trying to bring his-

WHOA WAIT WHAT??? ]

What?! [ There is so much to ask or react to. Al doesn't have a body. That would explain SO MUCH. SO MUCH that he's also wondering why he didn't even guess. Then there is the whole how do you lose your body thing. ]

Where. Where did you lose your body? [ It's out before he can even think. Then he's kind of staring at the screen realizing how stupid that sounds. ]

[armoured]

[His voice is quieter, low and soft and sad.]

It's-- it's kind of a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?

[He knows he's started now, revealed the big secret, but he doesn't want to pile this on Zell without a warning for how heavy it is.]

[swatsflies]

[ Everything deflates at the sound of Al's voice. Rubbing the back of his neck feeling rather sheepish at his question and arguing in the first place as he gives a nod. ]

Yeah, I want to hear it. If you're cool with sharing it.

[armoured]

[There's a moment of silence, but he trusts Zell and it's incredibly important that he is made to understand that bringing people back isn't something to just charge into headlong.]

I was four when our Mom died, it was a sickness that swept across the country, it was so quick... Dad had already left and he didn't come back when Mom died, so it was just Brother and me. Our friend Winry and her Granny took us in, but it wasn't enough, we wanted our Mom back. We wanted her back so much...

[What idiots they had been.]

We'd already started practising alchemy, but human transmutation is something that's forbidden. Alchemy-- everything, is based on balance. Equivalent exchange, you can't make something from nothing, you have to give back an equal price. That's why making people was forbidden, there is no equivalent price, but we thought-- we thought maybe we could do it anyway. So we trained for a long time and researched everything we could find, and when I was ten we tried to bring her back.

We have all the ingredients for a human body, we thought if we added our own blood it would be soul data, but... but it went wrong. It wasn't enough, the price rebounded on us. Brother lost his leg and I lost my entire body, I would have died, but Ed gave up his arm to transmute my soul into this suit of armour and bind me to it.

[He hesitates, voice getting quieter.]

And even after all of that, what we made was barely even human. It was... broken, and bleeding, and it died again just a few seconds later.

We've met people since who can perform human transmutation using a philosopher's stone to bypass equivalent exchange, but those are made with human lives, using their souls for energy. I don't know if that's what's happening here, but I do know that people shouldn't come back from the dead, Zell, not ever.

[swatsflies]

[He doesn't have memories of that kind of loss, and they lost her to an illness. They had to watch her grow weaker and finally...

There is a sharp intake of breath as he gets to the part about Al losing his body and Ed loses both his limbs. And after all of that hell, what they brought back wasn't their mom. It wasn't even human. It sounds like some abomination they could run into here.

Muttering a curse under his breath as he remembers when Ed was asking questions about who brought him back. How distraught he sounded.

Brought my-- her back. I died.

The words never made sense to him, but they stuck to him because it was one of the first few messages he saw on the network. ]

Frickin' hell. Al. Al, I'm sorry. [ His voice is thick with emotion as he tries to focus on now. ]

[armoured]

It's okay.

[His voice is low and firm, not happy, but not distraught either.]

What we did was wrong, and I'll have to live with that forever, but that's not why I told you that. I told you because it's important to understand that just rushing in and trying to bring everyone back isn't smart, we don't know what's going on here and it's just-- it's not natural. I'm sorry.

Sorry. Had a kitty emergency. also sorry al

[swatsflies]

[ For a moment, he thinks about two people he knows that are here that should be dead. That were dying in their own world.

He makes a low sound that sums up his mixed feelings well. ]

I get you. [ Maybe. ] We'll find out what's happening here. Get to the center, kick some ass, and get the answers. Then. Then we'll know. [ That will make it better, right? If they find a reason for it. An explanation that would make everyone happy? ]

hope all is okay with the cat now

[armoured]

Yeah.

[He's not stupid, he knows that's not an agreement not to try and bring people back, but he's got better over the months he's been here in not forcing his views on others. Once they have the answers then Zell can make his decisions, and Al will make his.]

Believe me, I know what it's like to wish those people could come back all the same, even with the prices.

<3 it's getting bettter \o/ she's eating. thank you.

[swatsflies]

[ He will think about it at least, which might deter him from jumping at the chance to bring loved ones back. ]

Yeah, you lost a lot of people. [ And without really thinking about it ] You were here from pretty much the get go, huh?

[ So he lost all of those people as well. ]

<3

[armoured]

Mm.

[That's not so much a secret, but it still hurts to remember all the people that he's lost both here and at home.]

Since the first day, that's me. And yeah-- I've lost a lot of people, ones I'll never forget, but-- But I know what's right, so I'm just going to try and grieve for them and move on.

Re: <3

[swatsflies]

[ Zell got so wrapped up with all those he lost, that he does forget just how much more others before him have. ]

Yeah. [ He then repeats it putting more emphasis to it. ] Yeah. We do have to keep moving. Zack would say we have to get that ticket out of here.

[ Still feeling pretty stupid over the route their convo went. ] You know, I do think you're amazing.

[armoured]

W...What?

[He's successfully derailed by the unexpected compliment. It's a good job he can't actually blush in this body.]

I'm just doing what anyone would do, moving forwards is how we all deal with things.

[swatsflies]

You do more than that. You're always there or willing to get to people as fast as you can. Man, I still remember when you showed up to pick up me, Rhys, and Angel. You were like a knight.

[ It was really cool! One of Zell's first few good memories of this place. ]

[armoured]

[He snorts, touched and amused at the same time.]

I think you might just be easily impressed, Zell. But... but thanks, it means a lot to know that I do things right sometimes.

[Because this place can crush that feeling right out of a person.]

[swatsflies]

I don't know, man. We could probably ask Rhys and Angel what they thought. Take a vote to see if you looked cool to them.

[ He knows they will agree with him. ] Dumpy gets a vote, too. [ Aaaaaah means yes. ] I know it gets hard to see, but you really do your best. You've done so much. More than anyone else could have.

[armoured]

...I think I'm gonna have to go before you give me a big head.

[But he's genuinely touched, it means so much to hear where he's made a difference in a place where these things don't happen often.]

And don't you dare gang up on me with Rhys and Angel.

[swatsflies]

[ Chortling quietly as he nods. ]

I can't make any promises. Take care, Al.