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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

Comments

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim doesn't answer back right away. As painful as it was for Zell not to love him, not even knowing him is worse. He lets out a quiet sigh before turning on he video.

Zell's greeted with Jim's tired, pale face with dark smudges under bright eyes - Jim's still feeling the after-effects of losing too much blood - and he looks like he's bracing for the worst. ]

[swatsflies]

[ He stops breathing for a moment as he sees him on screen.

His hands already know the way before he thinks about it. Clicking over to video.

Zell is still sitting on the table where he woke up on. He's cleaned, but he doesn't have his hair product, so his hair is mostly tucked behind an ear. ]

What the hell happened to you? [ Frowning as he reaches up to touch the tablet. It's not right, but he isn't sure if he knows it's not right, or if he's already comparing him to how he looked in the image. ]

[rattlingthestars]

Been sick for a few weeks. Don't worry about it.

[ That's Jim's story and he's sticking to it, as long as he keeps his bandaged arm out of frame. ]

Why are you still in the morgue? You need to get out of there.

[swatsflies]

I didn't feel like moving.

[ Looking away with something like guilt there. ]

I think it's letting me stay because I woke up so late.

[ Rubbing the back of his neck and then looking at the screen. He breathes out slowly as if to let go of a lot of tension as he leans forward to bump his forehead against the screen. ]

I'm so glad people are real. [ He says it quietly. ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's heart skips in his chest. Of course that's where Zell's mind went; of course that's the biggest thing that's wrong. He takes a deep breath to steady himself. ]

I don't know if they're still there, but... if you can find a mirror, look at yourself. Your back or your hip.

[swatsflies]

[ Not the only place his mind went to since he was considering zipping back up until he saw people on the network.

His own heart was beating hard with both exuberance and trepidation. Maybe when he walks out he'll find nothing. Turning his head to look for a mirror, and hearing a click against the screen. Pausing to lean back, but nothing is there.

Then he reaches to touch his ear. ]

What am I going to find? Another one of these?

[ It's...odd. He can remember getting it, but not how it was done or why. ]

[rattlingthestars]

No, you'd have to come back over here for another of those. I did it.

[ That Zell's wearing his earring is something he leaves off for now. ]

We -

[ How to say this? ]

There have been times before this that you weren't sure things were real. Stuff that messed with our heads. So we...

[ Jim stops, putting the tablet down to point at more of his body and pulling up his shirt. Zell's last message is a little faded by now, but it still stands out against Jim's pallor. ]

and the amazing thing is Brian knows what a lover is

[swatsflies]

[ He forgets to breathe for a moment as he sees the deigns and writing. It's his hand writing.

Jim is on his screen. ]

Brian said you're my lover.

[ It comes tumbling out just like that. Then a moment later, he's pushing the rest of the body bag off his legs and kicking it off. Wiggling it out and putting the tablet down. ]

obviously not here

[0thingsonmymind]

he really only knows the word ;P

still not here

[rattlingthestars]

what's that? find brian someone to smooch 2k17?

Re: still not here

[0thingsonmymind]

as long as its through the mask 8D 8D 8D

Re: still not here

[rattlingthestars]

oh myyyyyy

[rattlingthestars]

That's -

[ Congratulations, Zell, on finding a way to completely distract Jim from the topic at hand. He drops his shirt back down over the message and picks up the tablet, returning it to focus only on his face.

His red face. ]

We're courting.

[swatsflies]

[ Whoa. He doesn't say anything because hello that's cute ]
Huh?
[ Oh. Oh yeah. ]

Courting? Like we're going to get married?

[ That's more than friends alright.

And then he sees the ring on his finger. And the bracelet. Lifting up his hand to show Jim. ]

[rattlingthestars]

One day.

[ Jim lifts his own hand, showing off his bracelet and ring, and then the phoenix feather, too. ]

You don't have to think about it right now. Just get somewhere safe.

[swatsflies]

[ Seeing Jim's own ring, bracelet, and the feather is a relief. But he's not really sure why. Smiling. ]

Yeah.

[ Then looking around. ]

Could you stay on a bit longer?

[rattlingthestars]

[ He thought he might not ever get to see that smile again. As twisted up as he's feeling right now, it loosens something in his chest. ]

Yeah. As long as you want me to.

[ He ducks his head, and, quietly, daringly: ]

That's what the rings mean.

[swatsflies]

[ The smile remains as he brings the ring to his mouth to touch it. It feels right. Beaming at his screen. ]

I want you. [ A pause. ] To stay on.

[ Yup that's totally it. ]

It's nice. Having proof that people are real. That there's something to look forward to remembering.
[ He's talking as he hops down from the table. He's pretty excited because not only are there people, there's this. A promise for the future. ]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Oh. It still hurts; the words and the smile. Jim rubs his chest absently, unable to look away. ]

It shouldn't be long. A few days.

[swatsflies]

[ He's thinking for a moment. ]

Just through the tunnels.

[ Which Jim should know, right? He isn't sure. He remembers all of the places here. Pausing to frown a moment. ]

You know I was thinking of just giving up.

[ He's not sure why he's even saying that to Jim. It just feels right sharing. Looking away as he rubs the back of his head. ]

[rattlingthestars]

Giving up?

[ Jim thinks he knows what Zell means, even if he doesn't want to. His question comes out sharper than he meant it, the fear obvious in his voice. ]

That's not like you.

[swatsflies]

[ There's an uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he hears that fear. ]

Yeah, I know. It's just that I thought no one was here. That there wasn't any point.

[ To any of this if it's just Zell... ]

So you gave me something to look forward to. That I did something good.
[ ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ ]

[rattlingthestars]

Even if it were just you, you still can't give up.

[ That's an order. Or maybe a plea. Jim's not exactly sure which. He lets otu a long sigh. ]

You're... you're the thing I look forward to, too.

[swatsflies]

[ Is it possible to like someone you had no memories of? He's beaming again at the thought that someone is looking forward to him. That Jim is looking forward to him. He thinks about the image on the screen again, and a bittersweet feeling feeling bubbles inside. ]

I won't give up. Promise.

[ Another one. Like the ring and like something else too... ]

[rattlingthestars]

You -

[ Jim just stares, as if he's been caught off guard by something, and takes a deep breath that turns into a cough halfway through. ]