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[swatsflies]

@ZD
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((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

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[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's expression rises and falls, a mirror of Zell's. Rather than upset just yet, though, he's just looking puzzled at Zell. He casts a glance over his shoulder at what Zack and Cloud are doing over there, and then, ignoring Zell's words entirely, he drops onto the floor beside him and throws an arm loosely over Zell's shoulders. If he really wants to get away, it should be easy, but that's not the point. ]

I don't think you could.

[ Honest, almost casual, completely true. Jim looks sideways at Zell after he's said it, though and then down at his knees. ] Something happened when I was knocked out.

[swatsflies]

[Zell tenses for a moment when Jim puts his arm on him. He reaches over his shoulder to brush Jim's hand with his finger tips. He'll slowly relax again as he decides the floor is very interesting.]

I punched Zack. [Swallowing hard as he waves with his free hand towards the pair of Soldiers. Zack being silent and going down as easy as he did is still striking him as wrong, but he's not going to share that with Jim yet. Normally Zack did his best to show how strong he was for the others.]

Things moved in slow motion while you were out. [Which was also freaky. He knows Zack was stuck on slow motion squats, while Zell couldn't help but to stare at people. He needed to keep looking in case they vanished.]

[rattlingthestars]

You - [ Jim jerks back, not away but far enough to hold Zell's shoulders and look at him. Zack is being taken care of, as much as Jim wants to check on both of them at once. Zell... isn't. Hasn't let himself, Jim's guessing.

He's just about to demand more of the story before Zell's words bring him up short. ] - Felt like somebody cast slow, [ He says, voice low and scratchy. An echo of their conversation nearly a week ago. ]

[swatsflies]

[He's going to flinch at that one word and the jerking back action. It takes him a moment to realize Jim isn't trying to pull away completely. Jim isn't distancing himself. And then Jim starts repeating what he said before about time compression. Zell lift his gaze from the floor to Jim before nodding his head slowly.]

You were sleeping. I didn't know if you were just sleeping or...

[Or if he was dead. His shoulder slump a bit as he shakes his head. Don't think about it.]

I was talking to Winter, but it might not have been here. She was glitching up or someone else was responding for her. She showed me a room with a flickering light. Then it felt like I was actually there in that room and I wasn't alone. There was a shadow and it was going to hurt you. It was going to hurt everyone if I didn't do something about it. [He's going to look guilty.][He's going to stare are his hand now.] I was back in the room and Zack was doubling over. I could have stabbed him. I could have hurt you. I could still hurt you. [He's swallowing down a wave of emotions that were threatening to spill out.]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim meets his gaze, blue eyes wide and serious. He hurts for Zell and he's worried about Zack and kicking himself for falling asleep during... whatever this was. If he had been, maybe he would've been able to catch Zell before this happened.

He captures Zell's hand, unwilling to give him any space to retreat into his fear, and shakes his head. ] You wouldn't hurt me. You - [ Okay, what he'd done to Zack hadn't been good, but: ] You weren't in control. But it's over now.

[swatsflies]

[Watching Jim's hand closing over his own. Looking over at Jim again as he leans against the wall away from his boyfriend. He's not sure if he wants to grab him and hold on tight, or withdraw from him. A look over to Cloud and Zack to see that Zack was getting fed cookies and whatever else the blond brought back with him. Probably screwed that friendship up with Cloud by punching his friend.

Swallowing again as he levels his gaze at Jim. Tugging on the captured hand and hooking an arm around behind his boyfriend to pull him closer. Going to bury his face into his neck.]

If it can take me over once... Jim, when things get weird like that, I want you to stay away from me. [Even if it means reliving another slow motion spell alone, it's better than the possibility of hurting Jim.]

[rattlingthestars]

No.

[ It comes out louder and harsher than intended, but Jim isn't even looking to see if anyone's paying attention. His voice cracks in half as he repeats: ] No. That's not how this works.

[ Jim pulls Zell close to him, hopefully close enough to hear his breathing and his heartbeat. ]

[swatsflies]

[Zell cringes at the first no. Then he hears Jim's voice cracking, which makes a lump form inside of his heart. He makes a noise under his breath as if to protest, but Jim is pulling him close. Bunching up the fabric of Jim's shirt as he grips it tight. Breathing in unsteadily as he tries calm down. Leaning back just enough to look him at his face. Tucking his hair behind his ear.]

You mean a lot to me, Jim. [He lowers his eyes as he shakes his head.] You mean more to me than that. You're becoming my new dream, Stars. I want to make plans with you in the future for when we get out of here. I want to think about a year from now or five years from now thanks to you. Hallucinations or not, it would kill me if I ever hurt you.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Tears are there in Jim's eyes before he can blink them back, though he's scrubbing his eyes with his sleeve as soon as he realizes. Yeah, what future? This one: on a world Jim's only barely heard of, galaxies away from home, freezing, starving, afraid, holding onto a boy Jim can scarcely believe exists. This future.

Jim trips over the words that want to come, the way he always does when something inside his head is too big, and what comes out is: ] You - I want a future with you too. A long one. But I'm not going to let this place keep me away from you when you need me.

manhandling the boyfriend

[swatsflies]

[Zell is officially the worst boyfriend ever if Jim is crying. He can't discern whether he's crying because Zell is trying to push him away, Zell sharing how much Jim means to him, or just everything stacking all up together. Whatever the reason, it hurts to see those tears and it jolts him out of the guilt long enough to wrap his arms around Jim to lift him up, and pull him into his lap. Sorry, he's not going to mind how much he invades Jim's space right now with others around.

Reaching up to brush his thumb against Jim's cheek as he leans in to press a kiss against the corner of Jim's eyes. Giving a smile as he thinks about what Jim said. That he wants a future with him too. A long one. He feels a wave of emotion wash over him as he gives him a tight hug.]

Then keep holding on to me. [Conceding. He can't worry about what he might do, especially with what he wants to do is right here in his arms. What he wants to do is stick by Jim's side. What wants to do is make sure Jim gets out of here alive in one piece. To go to Jim's world and meet his mom. To take Jim home to meet his own Ma. Just focus on all of that for now.]

Sorry, Jim. I won't leave or push you away.

manhandling huh

[rattlingthestars]

I'm not letting go even if you do. [ Sure, if Zell really wanted to leave, Jim would stand aside even as the selfish part of him screamed. Zell's happiness is more important than him staying with Jim. But that's painfully impossible to think about just yet, and it isn't what's happening here. He doesn't want to be alone anymore than I want him to be, Jim thinks.

He climbs easily into Zell's lap, sitting sideways rather than straddling him and uncaring of any attention they might get from Zack and Cloud or their other 'guests.' ]

You wanna tell me more about what happened? [ They'll deal with it. ]

he'll handle his man or man his handles ;D

[swatsflies]

Promise? [Tracing along Jim's cheekbones with his finger. No more tears, right? Pressing a kiss against the side of his head.]

Zack is probably worn out from all the squats he was doing. Most of the day he was stuck on squat mode. [Zell's voice sounds pretty worn out. He lifts his head to look over at Zack and Cloud. Not that those two could say much about Jim and Zell since Zack's head is in Cloud's lap and he's feeding him cookies.]

'no more tears' sounds like a shampoo commercial.

[rattlingthestars]

[ No more tears. Jim's sorry to have worried Zell with that at all, considering. Jim glances over in their direction and shakes his head. He's worried about Zack, too, but apparently the punch didn't do too much damage.

He takes Zell's hand in his own and carefully pulls the glove off so he can feel all of it. Definitely his favorite pair of hands, regardless of what they did today. ] I'll keep watch for both of you.

[ He got plenty of sleep, after all. ]

And what about you? How did Winter fit into all this?

:3

[swatsflies]

[He now knows Zell's weakness.

He looks down at his hand as Jim frees it from his gloves. Flexing and wiggling his fingers as his boyfriend feels them. Being silly and playing with his fingers because he didn't ask for him to keep them still. It's a nice distraction from the guilt or the desire to go check on the SOLDIER.]

Only if you stay close to me. [Not to protect Jim, but because Zell is feeling pretty vulnerable still. He knows he won't be getting any sleep that night and will want to check on Jim to make sure he can still move and things are still moving normally. That it's still real.]

I don't know. I don't know if it even was Winter that I was talking to. She was acting strange. I think the maintenance got to her, too. [Which is weird because Winter should be in Russia. It shouldn't effect her.]

:o

[rattlingthestars]

I won't let go of your hand until morning.

[ Jim rubs his own head at the mention of maintenance. Apparently everyone who was awake had completely lost it, but he doesn't put it past @admin to have rummaged around in the head of those that'd gone to sleep as instructed, either.

It's less important than what Zell went through, though, so he puts it aside for now as he chases Zell's fingers around in an attempt to capture them. ]

Isn't she... somewhere else on the planet? You think the mechanism controlling all this is that big?

[swatsflies]

[He seems to relax at that reassurance. Boyfriend is a mess, Jim.

Giving a grin a bit as he tries for a stalemate with their finger war. Tries pressing a finger against each of Jim's to lay his hand flat against his. They can compare to see who is bigger if Jim goes along with it.

To help with the finger war, he does press a kiss against his neck. He carefully churns Jim's words over his head as he chuckles softly. They both were wondering the same thing. It makes him really happy for some reason.] Yeah maybe. She could also actually be here or it only effected what she said because she connected to our network. We'll find out next time she talks.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim spreads his own hands flat easily; his hands are large for his body, callused all over, and his nails are ragged from being chewed on. They're not exactly the nicest hands, but maybe the way Jim steals a kiss between Zell's words might make up for it. ]

Guess so. Wish there was a way to force ourselves onto her network.

[ Because the cagey nonsense really isn't working for him. ]

[swatsflies]

[They are beautiful hands to Zell regardless of how they felt against his. Zell's own hands have scars, mostly on the knuckles and the back of his hand. His nails are mostly trimmed, but he uses scissors to cut his. He has zero complaints about watching his boyfriend put his fingers his mouth.

Giving him a series of quick smooches after Jim expresses his displeasure about Winter not sharing her network.]

Not even sure if she has control over much. Still feels like she's a prisoner. Man, I don't think she's even aware of how much time passes.

[Gives him another quick kiss.] We'll find out when we do. [And he's sure they will! Worrying over what could come though is something he doesn't want to tread down right considering their earlier issue. Rubbing his face against Jim's neck. There is something he really needs to say-] Thank you, Stars.

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim shakes his head just a fraction, still not quite willing to believe any of the people manipulating them are victims themselves. It's just too much to think about, and at least this way they have a face to be angry at.

He can't be very angry with Zell kissing him, though, and anyway his worry over Zell is stronger than any other concerns. He makes a quiet noise as Zell nuzzles his neck and tilts it to give more room. ]

Any time you need me. Anything I can do.

[swatsflies]

[Doesn’t quite catch the shaking of his head. Right now, he’s just going to enjoy the feeling of Jim in his arms and the warmth between them. Everything else can shove it for the moment. Right now, Jim is his whole world and he’s not going to think about anything else for a while.]

Right now. [His voice is low. He is glad that Jim didn’t listen to him. That Jim reminded him what having a partner was all about.] Just this. [He’s going to make use of Jim giving him more by pressing kisses down the length of his neck. Leaning his side against the wall as he relaxes. He’s going to try to sleep like this. His neck is going to complain later but worth it because he really doesn’t want to move or let go. Reaching up to brush his bare fingers through Jim’s hair.]

[rattlingthestars]

You've got it. [ Jim leans into Zell's hand for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend's touch. He makes a gentle, happy noise - he loves those hands, no matter what they did tonight - and wonders if he should try to get Zell to move to the bed.

They're comfortable here, though, so Jim leaves it alone and hopes that Zell can get some sleep. ] I've got you.

[ And he does, all night, Jim watching him by the gentle light of the tablet for any signs that something else is wrong. ]

makes noises

[swatsflies]

[He mumbles a quiet I know after Jim says he's got him. Jim's words and presence were like a spell being weaved around him. He can sleep soundly for a while thanks to it. Zell can feel safe because Jim is there for him. Humming a song softly to Jim as he continues to stroke his hair until he's unable to continue as he drifts off.]