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[swatsflies]

@ZD
Yo! I'm not in right now. Leave me a message.

((OOC: Zell may show messages to Jim Hawkins. If you do not want Jim to see/know, then please let me know.))

Comments

Day 242 audio; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

[ With Jim going off on his own like he has and Zell suddenly gone, too, it really doesn't take much to put two and two together. Doesn't take much at all. He doesn't know if Zell even has a lead on him, but he does know one thing. If Jim's right, then someone really ought to be tracking him down, trying to help him keep it together. And worst case? Well..

Hopefully, there won't be a worse case and it won't have to come down to what precautions they've talked about. Zack cuts to the chase quick all the same. ]

I'd be telling you Jim's gone, but I'm pretty sure you already know that. S'why you vanished, too, isn't it.

[ There's no anger or accusation in his words. But there's definitely something tight and uneasy to his voice. This feels like such a mess, but what would he even be able to do to help them? He's a danger in it of itself. ]

[swatsflies]

[ For a moment his heart leaps thinking Jim might have had second thoughts. Then he sees the name on the screen and he feels a sense of dread bubbling up. He didn't talk to Zack before looking for Jim with Morph. Giving a look to the pink critter that was chittering away and looking through the glass of the skywalk in hopes of spotting his friend. Calling Zack back and talking quietly as to not worry the critter. ]

Hey, Zack. [ His voice lacks it's usual upbeat cadence. ] Yeah, I know. Morph was worried about 'im so we went looking together. [ A pause as Morph hears his name. ] Told Kunsel we'll check around real quick and... [ It went a whole hell lot longer than he really thought it would. ]

@totheark; text; morning 255

[0thingsonmymind]

where

@zd; text

[swatsflies]

Hey Brian!
I'm down in the new area. With radiation.
What's up?

@totheark; text; Night 257

[0thingsonmymind]

iam by
new ar ea

canbe
to mor row

whereare
?

[swatsflies]

Checking out the place with a trap door.
The one with the shag carpet.

Night 267 text; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

[ It's nearly lockdown when Zack sends the message. Perhaps even stranger, he starts out in text. ]

hey. just double checking. you two good over there?

[swatsflies]

Found a shed. How's it looking over there?

@totheark; text; day 270 (after the obit)

[0thingsonmymind]

howare
?

@zd; text

[swatsflies]

[ He's including new pics of the school. There's a green light. ]

Keeping busy.
Guess you saw the obits?

Day 272 audio; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

[ It feels just plain weird, contacting someone he doesn't remember. That he should remember apparently. Someone who he's apparently been really good friends with. Angel'd mentioned a "Zell" and it didn't take much to narrow it down from there.

It actually took longer for him to figure out how to navigate the network than to find him.

But what do you say to someone you don't remember? Someone who's maybe even hurting knowing that you don't? Zack's not really sure, but...

But he ought'a try, right? ]

...Uh, hey? Zack speaking. Zell, right?

[swatsflies]

[ He's seen the messages on the network and has spoken to Kunsel before that. He's bee listening in with Jim's conversation too. So he's pretty surprised when the message hits his inbox. ]

Yo. [ Already trying not to get too excited. ]

Yeah, it's Zell. You doing okay?

Afternoon 273; Event, Action

[rattlingthestars]

Following this.

--

[ Jim's not having the best of days. He hasn't bothered to contact Zack or Kunsel - they already don't care about him, not like usual, so he hasn't wanted to face the fact that they might be literally unable to.

Meanwhile, he's got a shadow of what should be his boyfriend but isn't. He can't help but think Zell would be handling this better. He's probably screwing it all up, and Zell'll be hurt by the time he comes back to himself, but Jim can't quite overcome the instinct to shut down and pull into himself.

That's why he doesn't sense the change. He's too busy trying not to look at Zell. ]

[swatsflies]

[ Speaking of shutting down...

All of Zell's emotions were gone and then his free will starts to go. At first he's just gong through the motions of trying to align his steps with Jim, but then that idea is gone. All ideas area gone. His body moves on it's own and he's no longer looking at what's infront of him. He's seeing past Jim and everything around him. He starts walking in the direction of the trap door. ]

Night 291; @JPHawkins, text | :333

[rattlingthestars]

we were supposed to be a team. supposed to do things together.

wish it had been me instead

night 292

[swatsflies]

@totheark; text; night 292

[0thingsonmymind]

iam
a live

hi a live I'm Zell

[swatsflies]

new number who dis

Day 293, tunnel hub somethingoranother

[0thingsonmymind]

*He wasn't really sure how long he'd been in the tunnels. Well, that was normal, but today things seemed...longer. Not that he could really explain why or what that meant. But it didn't matter as much as what he was in the tunnels for. A friend.

Zell had died...how long ago? It couldn't be too long, he was still under some effect. Perhaps he'd died multiple times? He wasn't sure but, once again, didn't think it mattered. Just that Zell thought he'd been alone and while that'd be great for him, not so much for Zell. Even he understood that.

Thus his traveling through the tunnels, heading towards the newest area and hunting down his friend. When he spots the other, though, he doesn't get too close. He had no idea how Zell would react. He makes his presence known, though.*

Ze ll?

[swatsflies]

[ Using the low light from the tablet to help navigate through the tunnels. He's older now, but he doesn't really feel that different. His previous memories haven't returned, either. It makes it all... pretty bittersweet with an empathize on the bitter part. He's also missing his cat.

When his tablet goes off, he does jump. Then relaxes a moment later as he sees the words on the screen. He starts typing a response, before lifting his head up to check if Brian was there. Slowly smiling as he sees the other some how knowing he's safe. ]

Yo! Did you have to travel far?

@LELRIC; audio; day 333; morning

[armoured]

Zell, I--

[What does he even say here?]

I'm so sorry that I made you worry like that.

@zd; audio

[swatsflies]

Hey! [ He's so glad to hear his voice. ] Yo! How are you? Are you in one piece? Not missing anything?

[ Sorry, he's already launching into trying to figure out what might be missing. ]

@totheark, video, Night 342; cw: gore

[0thingsonmymind]

*Its been awhile since he tried this, but with that weird need to share today...well he might as well. Maybe someone will get something from it.

And so he sends out video of experiments with the fleshmound. He's largely cutting it up, so there's a lot of blood. Enjoy.*

Morning 354 :D

[rattlingthestars]

[ When Zell wakes up in the morning, Jim is gone from the bed they were sharing. His spot's gone cold, like it's been empty for hours, and he's nowhere to be found. Things around the room have been kicked over and scattered, like there was a fight, and by the door Zell will find a single item: the phoenix down, torn from Jim's neck and abandoned at the threshold. ]

Afternoon 352

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's been a mess all day. They've stayed put in the room with the fireplace since they got there, and Jim spent most of the morning huddled in a corner waiting.

As the day wore on, though, he found himself less and less able to sit still. He started a dozen messages to Zell and didn't send any of them, because what if it distracted him? What if he didn't make it back?

The guilt letting him go in the church alone still churns in Jim's gut if he stops to think too long. He tries not to.

By the time Zell makes it there, Jim's pacing outside, keeping an eye on the horizon. ]

Zell?

[ His voice is quiet at first, but then Zell's getting closer really quickly on his snowboard and Jim starts running toward him on a collision course. ]

Zell!

[swatsflies]

[ Zell is a mess, but for very different reasons. When he fell while struggling with his body bag, he dislocated his shoulder. He took care of that, but there's no telling if he used excessive force or not. He can't really feel it or anything else. At least he was able to figure out his price quickly.

Snow boarding is easier for him. He can just zone out and think about anything else, like what he'll do when he sees Jim. Or find out what even happened. It was strange and sudden. He didn't even feel how he died. It just happened.

When he's closer to the house the are set to meet at, he sees someone out there. It doesn't take long to figure it's Jim. He starts to speed up, only to realize maybe he shouldn't do that. Putting on the breaks and then he miscalculates and winds up wiping out completely. ]

Whoa!

@librarian; video; night 380

[cahooted]

Hey Zell, uh. I just saw. What happened and just, I know we haven't talked in a while but I wanted to check in, see how you're doing. I mean, I know you're probably not okay, but if you want to talk, just...

[A pause. He knows exactly how it feels, maybe a little too well – which makes this even harder and he finds his tongue tied, finds himself out of his depth. What do you say that isn't just empty sentiment at this point? Is there anything you can say?]

I hope he'll be back soon.

@zd; text; morning 381

[swatsflies]

[ He doesn't respond immediately because the bunker sucks :< His voice is still sore from crying, so he's sending a text. ]

Bunker
He went through too many rooms
Got sick and died

Late 381/Early 382, Text/Massive TLDR

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim's been pacing the hospital morgue. He'd thrown off the bodybag and gotten out of the drawer as quickly as possible, but the morgue was sealed up tight for the night. Of course he'd end up back in the hospital. He barely recognizes the place; he'd avoided it as much as he could every time they'd passed through here, and of course he hadn't seen it the first time.

But the panic's there in his chest, if he looks for it. The fear of the darkness, of the suffocation - of death, again, of blindness and helplessness. He's not helpless this time, though he can't put a finger on what he's lost yet. It didn't matter. He had himself, and all his senses, and he could make it through this alone if he had to.

He opens his tablet anyway, as soon as he finds it. The rest of his stuff's missing, but it must be back at the bunker with the others. His hands linger over the message field, hesitating to send anything. What if it were a lie, and the administration could read every message? What if Zell had already moved on? Jim's not even sure how long he's been dead.

He grips the tablet tight and takes a deep breath in, holds it, lets it out. The exercises he'd learned to cope before don't help as much as they could when he's standing in the middle of all this, but they help enough to steady his hands as he types. ]

Hey. I'm alive.

grabby hands teal deer

[swatsflies]

[ He hasn't been sleeping well because everything feels empty and cold. So he's sitting up, watching Mochi and Morph sleep beside him when he hears the message chime. Zell holds his breath as he grabs the tablet to click on his messages. There has been a message or two from concerned friends, but he's hoping it's Jim. He's hoping he's back.

When he sees the name, relief floods him. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Clicking voice message instead, not going to worry about waking the others up. ]

Hey, baby. [ He sounds tired but his tone has the usual warmth reserved for Jim alone. ] Where are you?

@bucky; text; afternoon 389

[advanced]

[This is a really awkward call to make. Aside from his tiny circle (more like a line, two can't be called a circle) of close friends, he doesn't really call anyone on these things.

But time with Flynn, and making up with John, have both made him aware that he should be making more of an effort here to live, not just survive. Zell is one of those people on his periphery who has always been nice when they've run into each other, and has shown a bit more understanding than most, which is why he's getting the dubious honour of Bucky attempting a social call.

There's nothing but a blinking cursor for a long time, and he feels stupid when he finally sends out the message.]

How have you been?

@zd; text

[swatsflies]

[ It's certainly a surprise, but a good one. Especially after all the things. ]

Oh hey! I'm doing better. We're back over by the bunker.
How have you been?